The art of listening is one thing most people lack. It’s easy to hear when someone speaks, but listening is just on another level that so many don’t and can’t get to. The question now is, why? For me, I’ll say people find it hard to listen because they are not interested in what the other person has to say or they have something else going on in their minds that keeps distracting them from listening. Listening is one key to a beautiful conversation. Almost anyone will be willing to share anything with anyone that is willing to genuinely listen to them. But the more we feel unheard and disregarded, the harder it is for us to share what is on our minds.
It takes so much sometimes to truly share things with people because these days, sharing what’s on our minds usually feels like an attack or a scrutiny to the other person we try to talk to. They hear what we say and at intervals, they try to counter whatever we have said, and because of that, we start overthinking what we have to say. Sometimes, people just want to be heard. They don’t want to be cut short or halted. All they want is to speak freely and exactly what bothers them. Telling us what’s on their minds doesn’t mean they want us to say anything. If they do, they will ask for it. And even if you want to say something without them asking, it’s better you wait for them to finish what they have to say before you jump in with whatever you want to chip in.
I have had different experiences when people don’t listen, but today I’ll be sharing a time when I didn’t listen to someone. Over time, I always thought it will be more interactive if when someone speaks and I can always contribute to it, and I was around people that didn’t mind. I listen though, but not to the end. Well, I had an experience one time with a friend who was trying to tell me something about what happened, and while the person was talking, I kept trying to say what’s on my mind—trying to show empathy—and then the person stopped me. I felt a bit embarrassed and offended, but I also realized that I was just being too forward, so I decided to listen to everything they had to say.
In the end, I couldn’t say much. I didn’t have to because the person didn’t actually need me to chip in anything, and I also didn’t have much to say after listening to everything. Since that day, it was hard, but I started learning better to listen to the end before making my input. Listening requires us to keep quiet and just absorb the other person’s words, emotions, and thoughts. Fixing yourself in their own way of thinking and understanding how they feel at the moment and how they felt before sharing whatever they are sharing with you.
Anyways, listening is something that should be reciprocated. When someone is kind enough to listen to us, it is best that when they also have something to say, that we listen to them too. As it is written, “Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.” If you want to be the only one to be listened to, that won’t be a great communication in the end. We live in a busy time, and it’s easy to be distracted, but as soon as you are drawn back to the conversation, try and stay focused instead of giving up.
Thank you for reading through. 💜