Pain is something that once it is felt, there is always this part of us that wants to make others feel that same pain especially when they are not sympathizing with us the way we expect or when they are the cause of our pains. Most times, we try to act like all is well when we feel hurt but then, when we are consistently inflicted by that pain, we start getting defensive and aggressive whenever we sense anything negative coming our way. And most times, this leads people to becoming really aggressive towards others that they cause similar pains on them knowingly and sometimes unknowingly.
According to the hivelearners topic for this week, we are asked to share our thoughts on whether or not such people can be held accountable or even be forgiven. Most people that pass on their past traumas unto others are almost close to being psychopaths but there might be little difference if they don’t do it intentionally and if they are constantly working on themselves to become better. It is rather evil and selfish to want to make others feel the same way you felt when something bad happened to you. Passing on our trauma is only an evidence of denial.
Most people that have faced one traumatizing experience in the past often tend to lie to themselves that they are no longer traumatized because they don’t want people to have pity on them or be around them. And because of that, they end up not seeking for help to assist them get over those ill experiences. And then it gets to a point when they start feeling unsettled that they shouldn’t be the only ones to face such traumatic experiences and that causes them to start making others feel similar ways or even worse.
Yes, there are cases when some people who were victims of a traumatic experience inflict similar trauma on others but it was all in their defense but the moment such a person does that same thing over and over, it only means it is becoming an habit and they have to seek help. And whether they inflict similar trauma on someone intentionally and not, they should still be held accountable for their actions because they have become a predator to a prey. And that has definitely made their victim traumatized and almost broken too just the way they are now.
I have been privileged to see a lot of movies of cases like this and when the case is taken up in court, the culprit in their defense often plead guilty but they say it was because they were trying to be defensive or due to a similar situation they have experienced and because of that, they serve less term in prison. But the truth is, sometimes they did those things intentionally and just use their past experiences as an excuse to become who they truly are deep down.
Because I have seen people that have faced really bad experiences but yet, they never let that define them for too long. They seek for help and they got it. And that was only possible because they acknowledged the fact that they needed help. Running away from help or hiding the fact that we still feel traumatized and pain deep down won’t help us in anyway. It will only make things even more difficult for us which can also end up as threat to those around us.
Forgiveness is possible but it depends on the person that has been offended and also the weight of the offense that has been committed. For people who inflict pains on others just because they were also once victims and are unrepentant, should be fully held accountable. But the judgement should be light if they are repentant and also it was their first time. And that is because they are humans and besides their trauma, we all are bound to make mistakes.
Thank you for reading through. 💜