Pearl (a YouTuber and Relationship Coach) is right.
Pearl said that most men are the second choice of their wives. This is the bitter truth in the world of men.
Most men are "second choice" husbands in the minds of their wives, and they would never know till they die.
This also applies to our parents.
You cannot say with 100% certainty that your father was the first choice of your mother. In fact, there is a 90% chance that your dad was your mum's second choice.
Truly, a vast majority of women do not end up marrying their first choice. They often "settle for" (a derogatory term for "manage") their second or third choices.
Pearl said this is why most men lack authority and command in their relationships or marriages. She is also right on that point. It is just commonsense if you think about it.
If you are a woman's first choice, chances are that she would love and respect you more, unlike if you were her second or third choice.
However I think men most times unknowingly make themselves second or third choices when they could be first.
I have a simple theory or explanation for how men make themselves second choices or what you might call "husbands on reserve" that later became husbands.
I will use myself as an example.
If I sincerely like or fancy a lady and I summon the courage and swallow my pride to tell her that I like her to be my woman, and she refuses for whatever reason, that is the end of my attempt.
I am not shooting my shot again for that same woman.
No I am not lazy or unserious. I am just being intentional. I don't want to make myself a second or third choice.
You see, men make themselves second or third choices by pushing too hard for love or begging for love. This is mistake many men make in the name of finding love.
If a woman rejects you one time FOR WHATEVER REASON, don't push any further. Sadly some men push and keep pushing, hoping she would change her mind, and then the woman reconsiders but puts them on a "waiting list" because clearly they are not her first interest.
When you force a woman to accept you by suffocating her with attention, gifts or money, you are definitely not her first choice. She is merely "settling" for you.
Most men don't understand that they deserve to be loved and chased too. Yeah, women chase men when they are in love too. They do it subtly and codedly, but they do it. Some even do it overtly.
When a woman plays hard to get, just see it as a red flag. When a woman is genuinely interested in a man, there is nothing like palying hard to get.
I can easily tell when a woman is not romantically interested in me, so that I immediately withdraw my energy and channel it elsewhere. Don't ask me how I can tell. I don't want to sound arrogant. Let's just say I have been a beneficiary of women's attention.
I always say that your own thing will not stress you and folks think I'm joking. I actually mean it.
Your own woman will not stress you before accepting you. That's why a REAL MAN must not stress himself to woo or earn the love of a woman.
If she is not saying yes outrightly, move on. Don't beg. Don't push. Don't make her change her mind. She is not a kid. Women are smart.
Know this truth: Whatever you cannot walk away from is your master. Walk away if she says "No" the first time.
I know some will come here to spew nonsense like "a woman must play hard to get so that she doesn't look cheap."
That's for women who are emotionally unstable and emotionally immature. Trust me, there is no such thing as playing hard to get when a woman wants you the way you want her. But IF she truly likes you and still plays hard to get, then you should run because she is a manipulator. She will waste your time and your life.
My point is simple: Men should seek women who seek them in order to avoid becoming a second choice. If she is not matching your energy or interest, leave her and look for another. There are plenty of them in the world.
I repeat, I will only tell you I want you ONCE. If you say NO, you won't hear it again. That's just me. 🤷♂️
Usually, before a man tells a woman how he feels, she must have known through his behaviors and clues. Most women know how men feel about them before they say it. Don't be fooled. That also means she already knows how she would respond before you ask.
If you don't want to make yourself a woman's second choice or "husband on reserve", then treat yourself like a first-rated man. Don't push too hard for love. Don't simp for love.
It takes a lot to confess love to a woman the first time. Don't do it a second time if she rejects the first.
The only way I will RECONSIDER a woman who rejected my first proposal is if she proposes back to me. It is not arrogance. It is proof of my healthy sense of self-value.
Let the woman chase you back, so that you don't become her second choice.