31st May, 2024.
It would be the first time I would be taking my birth anniversary seriously.
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I had always lived under the shadow of my brother-in-law who incidentally had the same birthdate as I did. Whenever it was 31st of May, especially if I was in his house (which I almost always was), every wish and congratulatory message would be said to him, it was like I never existed during those times.
My mom, of course, would call me out and pray for me, but she would call him too. It was impossible for me to have a birthday without his interference. He was just always around to steal my shine.
Gifts would come flooding in from friends, family and neighbors and not even one would carry my name, “Treasure” by mistake.
I used to pretend that everything was okay because all I had to do was stay out of their way. I would lock myself in a room and scroll through social media aimlessly, sometimes I would read a novel until I get called out to run an errand or partake in the feast that they prepared for him.
It was during his 30th birthday that I made up my mind never to spend my birthday with them again.
My sister had been going on about how she wanted to throw a party for her husband to mark the new age he was stepping into. I watched her make all the plans; a hotel reservation with decorations and cakes, every gift she bought had his name on it; bottles, jotters, even a pen!
There was a throw pillow with his picture on the front and their picture on the back, there was to be a lavish dinner that my mom, who was an intercontinental chef, would prepare.
I was content with not having my name on any of the preparations, afterall, I never did. But on that particular 31st May, I cried my eyes out.
I was woken up early to assist my mom with the food preparations. I was excited when I saw that she was making afang soup, alongside fried rice and chicken. When we were done in the kitchen, I hurried to my room to steal some sleep but my sister woke me up almost 30 minutes later to collect some deliveries for her.
I spent a great deal of time running around, trying to locate delivery men to get some of the things that would be arranged at the hotel. When I was done, my mother dragged me to the room and stuffed me with a plate of fufu and afang soup.
After eating, my sister asked me to follow the decorator to the hotel room, “Assist her with whatever she needs” she said. By this time, I was already dead on my feet.
The decorator probably thought I was my sister's maid because she ensured she sent me on every errand, even the ones she could do herself.
By 4pm, I phoned my mom and told her I was coming home due to a bad headache. I left the decorator at the hotel without her knowledge, she must have phoned my sister because while I was on the road, my sister called. I didn't take it.
When I arrived at the house, my sister was furious and ranting. I paid no attention to her as she yelled about how I was becoming insolent.
“You're very insensitive! I'm trying to fix everything before my husband gets back, and you feel it's today of all days that you should act that your drama “
“What is today of all days?” I turned back to reply to her “It's MY birthday today. MINE!” She was taken aback for a moment, as if she was just remembering. “Now, who's the insensitive one?” I sneered at her, walked into the room and locked the door.
I didn't come out or open up even when my mom came to knock and plead with me to come out and eat.
This year, however, would be different. I wasn't traveling home no matter who invited me.
I am planning to sew myself an expensive dress, buy myself a medium sized cake, make a hotel reservation, pay for a spa session and a makeover after that, go for hair installation, go for a photoshoot, then take myself out on a date afterwards.
“So if you're taking yourself out where would I be?” My boyfriend asked after I related my plans to him.
“If you have plans, make them. I'm making mine. It wouldn't be bad to go out to different places” I told him cheerfully.
It would be the first time I am actually celebrated on my birthday, by both myself and the ones who love me. I almost cannot wait for May.