It has been a great pleasure to have a cousin that I regard as my sister – we grew together as close friends since our childhood and almost experienced all the events and joys of our journeys together.
The kind nature of my cousin which pointed to her being a caring person is what made me love her. She was a loving and caring lady with a large heart that cared both for the family and the community in particular. She was that one person who would always come to my aid whenever I was down, with smiles and embraces that were as warm as her heart. That is why so many people loved her: she was able to make feel loved and valued everyone she met in life.
I learnt one thing in particular from my cousin in the sequence and that is the need to appreciate the people that are dear to us. She was always a loving daughter and sister, and she always tried to give back love to her family and friends, and I learned to do the same from her. I also remember her as a model of patience, describing the importance of maintaining a positive attitude through difficult times. But even in the most difficult moments of her life, she could always laugh and enjoy the opportunities provided to her.
However, we were prevented from spending more time together when she, her mother, and siblings moved to the village. We were no longer able to see each other and this greatly limited our communication but calls were still made. And it was always such a pleasure to just hear her narrate and know about the events occurring in each other’s lives. Little did I know that those are some of the last spoken words we would have with each other.
One time, we got a terrible call telling us that she was sick. This made my spirit fall as I was informed that her kidney had been affected and she was struggling to live. Although I was not present physically within the situation, I was overwhelmed with a lot of helplessness and worry towards my cousin.
It was devastating to watch my cousin fight her illness, but it also showed a side of her that inspired me – her strength and positivity. Despite all the adversities that she encountered, she rarely faltered and always remained focused and hopeful for a brighter future. It was a joyful outlook in the face of such hardship that made her a true icon of the strength in human spirit. Her additional efforts; courage demonstrated during such a daunting challenge were incredible.
Sadly, after a very spirited fight, my dear cousin succumbed to death in the month of May the previous year. She was such a strong woman that the news of her passing came like a shock to me that hit me right in the heart. Well, I was not strange with the fact that people die but to lose someone so dear, was a pain the likes of which I could not fathom. I felt as if one of my vital organs had been torn and the void left can only be described as incredibly painful.
When I mourned, I was also, in a way, reminiscing about our time together briefly and joyfully. I recalled the happy time which we spent laughing, running, and playing all day as if it was a part of a fantasy. We would talk about our plans for the future, and I liked her warm character and her friendliness. She had very endearing personality and made everyone in her company feel special.
The process of grieving for a close family member was never easy but it has been a learning process to move on. Initially, I had a rather hard time in coming to accept the reality of the fact that she is no longer here with us. I would at times be at the point of feeling like picking up the phone and calling her only to realize that she will not be there to answer. At first I had to force myself to accept what had happened but slowly I learnt how to appreciate the time we spent together and be glad that her suffering was over.
One of the things that helped me to move on was talking about her with my family and friends. Often, we would discuss the sick and reminisce about her, which helped us to become even more related through our sorrow. I also wrote about her in my journal which helped to sooth my feelings in some way. It was a kind of an outlet that could help me to release and at the same time preserve our memory.
Yet there was another thing that helped me overcome her passing: the desire to learn the lessons she provided for me. I did my best to become as kind and patient as her and it gave me a goal. I also tried to stay devoted to the people I cared about, as she had shown me how that was important.
Over some time, the pain that came with the loss of my cousin was easy to manage and bear with. I still think of her every now and then, but the growing daily is in appreciating the little time I had with her and the importance she had in my life. I am also aware that she would wish me to make most out of life as how she was always / consistently did.
To anyone out there, who has lost a close one, I would like to tell you that it is perfectly okay to mourn. I might add here that it is OK to feel lost and confused.
It has been beautifully said, your loved one is no longer with you physically but they will always be a part of you.
To the lovely and strong-hearted cousin I have lost, I will try to stay as nice, brave, and grateful as she used to be. The story shared here is true, and I will always carry memories and lessons of her with me.