Children behave like children and punishments must be goal-oriented

The concept of discipline in Africa and especially Nigeria evolved through crude but effective means where the art of discipline was not limited to the parents but even the neighbors. I grew up having older siblings and a younger one, and thus, when my parents were not available to discipline me, my older siblings gladly did that on their behalf. Many times while growing up, I knew the repercussions of my actions, and whenever I experienced otherwise or a less severe repercussion, I kept an eye out for the possible remainder of disciplinary measures.

Times have however changed, and a significant transition has occurred from the crude and physical disciplinary modality to less contact but equally effective disciplinary measures, which I concur with. Yet, I would borrow a few of the old methods and apply them when the time is right.

A.) More study: one of the methods employable as a means of punishment to children is engaging them with more studies. Children love to play around, and constraining them to more studies would probably be seen as a deviation from what they feel they ought to be doing. This would mean depriving the child of the satisfaction of playing as he would have desired and even, probably, with friends.

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B.) The withdrawal of privileges is another effective method of disciplining a child. Children are usually free like a bird and could get whatever they desire. However, restricting their access to what they love, such as toys, cartoons, playbooks, etc., could be enough punishment to cause a repentance. Withdrawal of privileges must also be done with caution, as children, though neuroplastic, could equally have unfavorable memories embedded deep within.

C.) Drawing children back to themselves after a punishment is an attitude that must be imbibed. They should feel the weight of the discipline as much as the weight of the love bestowed on them.

D.) Spanking is an alternative that should not be encouraged. There are countries and cultures that do not permit older people to touch children. Most Africans grew up with lots of spanking, which often came from our mothers. Our fathers had the aura of giving a side look and setting children in their right frames of mind.

I want to agree that children should be rebuked as immediately as possible so they are aware of what they must have done wrong. Children would always be children and may not even be aware that what they were doing was wrong. A lady friend of mine who was fond of playing with children, and one especially (age about six or seven) who may have been her favorite, was noticed to fondle with her breast in public.

My impulsive action was to spank the little boy with two of my fingers so he could withdraw from the act while I had to call the attention of the lady friend to resist creating a normalcy in the innocent brain of the child.

Children should be corrected not often by the weight of their offense but with an intention to bring about a positive turnaround in then through less physical methods. The end goal of discipline remains to bring about a positive change and thus, punishments should be directional while been corrective.

Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.