When it comes to discussions about topics like marriage and relationships, I always like to keep quiet and learn from others because I am not experienced in those areas. However, with the many talks I have had with experienced people, I think I have built my knowledge to a certain point where I can discuss these issues. One thing I've learned about friendship, dating, and marriage is that they are complex. These complexities arise because you are dealing with humans. "Of course, you are dealing with humans," were the exact words of Hopestylist when we had a discussion about this topic. Humans are very complicated. “Very complicated” doesn't even start to define how complex human beings are. This is why it is important to be very careful when dealing with them.
Today's Hive Learners prompts asks us to share our perspectives about prenuptial agreement. Before today, I was unfamiliar with the term, “prenuptial agreement.” I had a very good knowledge of the concept, but not the term. In simple words, a prenuptial agreement is a deal or a contract partners make before they get married. Basically, it contains how financial resources will be shared in the event of divorce. When I fully understood this concept, one thing that came to my mind was that the aim of this agreement is to stay on the safe side when the uncertain happens. In my opinion, this defies the essence of marriage. It defies the concept of “for better for worse.” It means when you make this arrangement with your partner, you are insecure about the future. So, what is the point of getting married in the first place? This topic is controversial, so it won’t be surprising if people have different opinions and perspectives. In my opinion, prenuptial agreement shouldn't be a necessary addition to the marriage ritual.
First off, it is important that you get married to someone you completely trust, with no strings attached. I don’t believe genuine and unconditional love has reasons. When you attach reasons to loving someone, it means that the love is not deep enough. For instance, you love someone because of their flawless skin or their wealth. What if someone happens to their skin? What if one day all the riches they have vanished? These are the things to consider. When you get married to someone whom you completely love, there is no need for prenuptial agreement. You know that, come rain, come sun, you'll be with the person forever.
Having established that love is the foundation of marriage, another important factor is trust. Trust and commitment work hand in hand. A few years ago, news about Hakimi Achraf, a Moroccan football player who plays for PSG, and his divorced wife, filled the air. Apparently, Hakimi and his ex-wife, Hiba Abouk, signed the prenuptial agreement. Meaning, that in the event that they divorce, financial resources will be shared. After three years, Hiba Abouk filed for a divorce, accusing Hakimi of immoral acts. Now, here’s where things get interesting; the court announced that Hakimi had no assets. Everything (cars, houses, and money) was in his mother’s name. Since the prenuptial agreement applies to both parties, Hiba Abouk was forced to donate half of her worth to Hakimi.
Looking at this marriage, it is safe to assume that there was no trust and commitment from both parties from the beginning. Hakimi knew Abouk would pull off something like that, so he prepared for it. On the other hand, Hiba Abouk never lived or trusted him, she just entered the marriage to exploit him. If the trust and commitment are strong, they won’t need a prenuptial agreement.
As I mentioned above, prenuptial agreement defies the whole concept of marriage. It presents marriage as a contract, not a union. Marriage should be about love, emotional connection, commitment, trust, and everything in between, not a contract. I understand that marriage itself is complex and that the future is uncertain- anything can happen. However, you shouldn't get married if you're not ready to handle these uncertainties. Signing this contract means you do not care about building a future with your partner. You just want to get the contract over with and have your own share.
It is true that marriage involves money, houses, cars, and other financial resources. It is true that when two people come together to become one, they merge all that they have. Hope and I had a conversation about this topic and one thing we concluded is that financial independence is very important. If couples are financially independent, they won’t have to worry about signing a prenuptial agreement.
In summary, in this fast-paced world where divorce is becoming the order of the day, it is important to consider these things before getting married. Marriage is a union- a convent- not a contract. Marriage should be about love, affection, trust, and commitment and not assets.
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Thanks for reading.