I grew to hate rules; So I created my own path
By justola1
Intro
We live in a world that measures your worth by comparison, but who even set these standards 💁♀?
Society has set so much standards on men, women, even children. Everybody is expected to act in a certain way or achieve a certain feat. Whyy?
Even Failure is now seen as something you run away to hide from instead of embracing.
Quick Advise: Don't pressure yourself
Let's start with the men:
In Nigeria, the male child grows up with a standard already waiting for him at birth. He's expected to be strong, never cry when faced with problems or scolded, succeed early, and eventually become the head of the family (Olori Ebi).
Society says he must "man up" even when he's hurting inside. And if he doesn't meet these standards, he's labeled weak. But why should emotions make a man less of a man ?
Let's digress a bit to the unrealistic standards for women:
The same goes for women. She must be beautiful but mustn't be "too confident" else she'll be labelled proud. She should be educated but not "too ambitious." She should marry early but also build a career. She must learn to cook, take care of the family, do chores, take care of the children and bring them up right. The list never ends. It's like society gave women a script and they are expected to follow the lines word for word.
Personal Reflection- I Broke Free
There was point in my life when I used to feel I was a failure because as a young man I wasn't meeting up to the set standard a man should reach. I wanted to study a professional course in a prestigious school, be the best in my class, graduate at an early age, land scholarships, hone skills, earn 6 figures salary and take care of my family.
I was able to achieve a few of these but at some point I was getting so overwhelmed and it was choking me. I had sit myself down and decide never to let myself be pressured.
I am allowed to fail, I am allowed to not make a lot of money yet, I am allowed to miss opportunities, I am allowed not to follow the rule of thumb or also do the same thing or follow the same path as my contemporaries.
Why people set those standards.
Its very simple, Social Media! 📲
You scroll through Instagram, a constructed LinkedIn profile and see people your age with good jobs, cars, houses, living "soft life." It creates silent pressure, you start feeling behind when in actuality, you're doing well.
Funny thing is, most of what you see on social media isn't even real. You need to understand that everyone shows their highlight reel, not the struggles.
So, when does a standard become unrealistic?
When you begin to feel that it stops helping you grow and starts making you hate yourself.
Don't pressure yourself trying to be someone else definition of success. You are free to create your own path. You are free to fail, learn and rise again.
Comparison is the theft of joy.
Life isn't a competition so in summary, Learn to calm down.
Thank You for Reading ♥🤝🏼💯🌹🌹
Cover Image was Generated Using Google's NanoBanana and then Edited by me Using Canva