If there’s one thing I have always prayed and wished for, it’s to be a good father to my kids. I want to provide for them, make sure they have everything they need, and guide them through life’s ups and downs. But as much as I want to give them the world, I’ve also learned that giving them everything isn’t always what’s best and that's why I wouldn’t remove all the challenges from their lives. I believe that obstacles are a necessary part of growth, and my own experiences have taught me that.
I was the last child of a single mum, and I stayed with her while i was growing up and honestly, life was pretty easy. Everything i ever wanted was provided for me without much stress.
My elder brother, who was doing well financially, made things even more easier for us, so I never really knew what it meant to struggle.
It wasn’t something I thought about because, for the most part, my needs were always met. I never for once imagined that life could be difficult. I relied on my family for everything, even up to making decisions or handling any sort of problem. This reliance made me comfortable but also unprepared me for the realities of life.
That comfortable life, however, didn’t last forever.
Circumstances changed, and everything I took for granted suddenly wasn’t there anymore. Life took a toll on us and we had to move from living in a duplex to renting a house in a different state. My mum couldn’t provide for me the way she used to, and this hit me hard. My brother was also already married with kids and he couldn't provide for us as much as before.
Even though my mum did all she could to get me enrolled into a private university, I struggled with the basics, like feeding myself. The cost of living at school was way higher than I was used to, and I found myself facing difficulties I had never encountered in my life.
There were days when I sat in silence, crying because of hunger and frustration.
Instead of looking for ways to solve my problems or find a way to survive all by myself, I would sit and wait for help. I wasn’t equipped to deal with challenges because I never had to before.
I was so used to having everything handed to me on a platter of gold that I didn’t know how to cope when things got tough.
I acknowledge the fact that they wanted the best for me. But looking back, I can see that if I had faced some of these difficulties earlier in life, I would’ve been more prepared for the challenges that come with adulthood.
The university was just like i lived life on my own, away from parents and it wasn’t until I got there that I truly understood that life isn’t always easy. It’s the challenges and obstacles we face that helps shape us into the people we are meant to become.
Because of what I went through, I’ve made up my mind about how I want to raise my own kids.
Yes, I’ll provide for them, and yes, I’ll support them when they need it. But I won’t pamper them or shield them from every challenge. I want them to face obstacles, to make decisions on their own, and to figure out how to solve problems without relying on me for everything. They might think I’m being harsh at times, and I’m sure there will be moments when they won’t understand why I’m letting them struggle. But in the long run, I believe they’ll be thankful.
In the end, it’s not about making life easy for them. It’s about preparing them for the challenges and difficulties that life will throw their way. That’s why I believe the best thing I can do for my kids is let them face their own battles. It’s through those battles that they will learn, grow, and become stronger individuals.
Thanks for following me to the end.