This is actually one interesting topic I have had to think on for a while. The simple question is why do people choose to remain with those who are bad to them?? It could be relationships partners friends and even family members who are toxic.
When it comes to toxic relationships I have a bit of an idea why people to choose to stay in them. For one, i have had several conversations with girls in the past and one of the reasons they told me they would choose the bad guys over the good guys is because bad guys tend to be more interesting and fun to be with. For the good guy, he would care so much for them and will always want to be around them ( which they refer to as being clingy) and would be so nice and come off as boring but when it comes to the bad guy it would be the other way round. They would often engage in arguments and fights here and there and they just seem to find that to be more interesting. Also, they claim that the bad guys tend to be more romantic than the good ones. To be honest,this doesn't make any sense to me because sure, the bad guy might feel exciting in the short term, he would literally be unpredictable, and there’s always drama to keep things interesting. But over time, that excitement often becomes exhausting and i believe know one can thrive in a relationship that is built on constant tension, arguments, or even one-sided effort.
I had this particular friend when i was second year in the university. He was just so in love with this girl that he gave her his time and even his money. Along the line, she decided to kiss another guy at the basketball court. As if that wasn’t enough, she still decide to tell him. She was not even sorry or felt bad about the whole thing and instead of my friend to walk away he was still the one who later apologized to her and begged her back into his life. He was just so in love, blindsided by her behavior and had that fear of loneliness in him that made it hard for him to just stay away and see that she was not the right person for him which is basically one of the reasons why still people choose to stay in a toxic relationship.
Another reason people stay in toxic relationships is manipulation. The thing is, these toxic partners have a way of playing mind games that make their victims feel guilty or question their own reality. They might use lines like, “No one else will ever love you the way I do” or “You’re nothing without me” to break their partner’s confidence and make them feel trapped.
I’ve seen situations where someone knows they’re being treated poorly but still stays because their partner has convinced them that they’re the problem. It’s almost like they’re in a place where they are thinking“If I just try harder, maybe things will get better, and maybe he is going to end up treating me right. But at the end of the day, that never happens.
Now, i have never had any experience with a toxic friend or even a toxic family member but then i would say one of the reasons a person would accept being treated bad by these individuals would be "finacial dependence". When a person does not have much money to take care of themselves, they would be willing to go through anything just so they can get that financial assistance in order for them to be okay. When you depend on others for financial assistance it would be very hard to just forget about them because of the help they are rendering you at that time and nowadays, it is not actually easy to survive or meet ends meet.
What can be done to reduce the rate of toxic acts?
The first solution for me would be to not just rush into a relationship or marriage. Nowadays, people just rush to get into a relationship just because they find the other person attractive or love something about them or maybe because the other person is rich. For me, I believe in actually knowing someone very deep and having several conversations with them for a very long time before making the decision of wanting to be in a relationship or spending the rest of your life with them. I understand that some people are good at hiding their true behaviours but i believe that by doing this, you would atleast get the chance to know who they are and what they are capable of. Just as the saying goes "the devil you know, is better than the angel you don’t know".
Lastly, I would say having a strong support system also helps. I believe when you have people who are willing to hear you out , then you would be open to sharing your experiences with them without being judged, and then they can give you advice on what to do and even be there for you to support you whenever you decide to part ways with a toxic partner.
image is from Meta Ai.
Thanks for reading.