As a person I am a lot of things, and I pride myself into thinking I can do a lot of things at a time and achieve results and yeah I can not kidding. For fun I like to watch movies and play games at the same time, I easily get bored doing one at a time and when I'm not having fun probably because I'm too busy, I can choose to have fun in the middle of a really serious work. I could be developing a code and still watch a movie and Chat while doing a long list of collations for my email marketing clientele. Doing these things can be fun and at the same time draining. Yeah right I end up drained at the end of the day and just sleep to the next day. If this was the only downside effect it would have been good but then again I've gotten used to this bad habit that it's hard to focus on one thing at a time making productivity low.
This is the reason I hate the Monday staff meeting at the office, a lot of times I find myself dozing off and I've been caught once. But how do I tell my boss to let me do something else while in the meeting for him to have my full attention. Most times I lose concentration and become lost in my imaginations because my mind has now been stretched into accommodating a lot of things at a time. This habit started when I was trying to figure out a coping mechanism for dealing with the plenty of talks from women beginning with my mum and my sister. They love to talk a lot and I pretend to be a good listener. Actually I have become a good listener but then I would pretend to be listening as they talk and dive into my imaginary world and only answer with a nod or a statement in-between to keep them talking while I'm in my imaginary world.
My imagination is my safe space, and I can go there anytime, especially when the outside world is beginning to elude me. But now the whole imaginary world and multitasking isn't even the issue, my major weakness here is that I don't know when to stop. I can easily get addicted or attached and not know when to stop. I hate taking on new things because I'm afraid to keep going. One thing about people like me who do not know when to stop is that even when things get ugly you find us going and when we're stopped somehow (Especially by those around us) it's most difficult to go back because we have gotten used to stopping. I never knew this was a weakness until I decided to try out an experiment on myself to see if I could try out new things.
I stopped my normal daily routines, dropped all the value systems I had incorporated into my habits since I knew myself and just lived life. It was hard, I mean very hard to drop and stop but I thought it was only normal because I mean this thing had been in me from the onset. It took over two years of trying and failing to fully stop until I was going too deep and realized I couldn't stop myself again. I noticed these same traits in my work life where I find myself not leaving any stone unturned while working. This meant I was always working overtime because I wanted to finish the task at hand, and even when it was affecting my health, it was hard to stop. In Fact if I wasn't put on bed rest I would still continue. The issue majorly is that any thing I leave unturned would be left unturned until only God knows and the only way to avoid such is to keep going but then again I don't know when to stop.
