Christmas is in two days, and if I must admit, it doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Maybe it's because I feel I just need a break and turns out Christmas is the only break I would be having. I went to work today, truly anticipating a break because for the last couple of days, I've been feeling rather exhausted to my bones. So much so that even when I'm at work, working is tiring and I just end up feeling sleepy. And even in times when I have pressing matters to attend to, I just find myself feeling unmotivated to do anything. I see a lot of people preparing so much for Christmas, especially in this part of the world where Christmas is not complete without chicken, goat meat, or a full ram/cow.
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My younger sister is also one of those who plans to celebrate this Christmas in style, with her always ringing in my ear the outings and travels she would want to embark on. Well, as long as I'm not paying for it, she's free to travel to the moon if she wishes. So long I know she's safe. My partner on the other hand has some little Christmas request, plus things she would really want to do, while I'm busy thinking how I can just send them off to wherever they wish to go and have a good day's sleep, if possible, for the entire day. I mean even at the point of writing this post, I'm very sleepy from the day's work, but because I must write before sleeping is the only reason I'm doing so right now. By the way it's not as though I don't want to have fun, right now, I just want to sleep and feel refreshed before the new year.
Some weeks back, my partner casually asked me how the Christmas would go, and I just said, it's Jesus’s birthday, so she should rest because I already knew were the topic was heading to. It's not that I don't like Christmas, but just that this period has a lot of unnecessary expenses piling up, and if one isn't careful, things would become so hard in January that the month would look very slow. I plan to change the narrative this Christmas, I will cook normal food, and spend time with those I love. I don't really want much because I have come to realize that happiness doesn't come from what we have but who we are and those we have around us. So I think what I have been trying to say is that for Christmas I just want to be happy and make those around me happy too.
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Making them happy will then require me to see to their Christmas needs, well I will just have to make sure I don't break my pocket in the process. If I had the means, I would prefer to use Christmas as a medium to put smiles on people's faces, not just by giving them things to celebrate Christmas, but by touching their lives in a way that would make them always remember Christmas. Imagine sponsoring a child to any level of education as a Christmas gift, I bet that sends a better message of Christmas. I believe Christmas is about sacrifice and love, I believe in celebrating others in the process of celebrating Christmas. I think it is what would make it more memorable not just for the person it is done to, but for me doing it. But then at my current disposition, I can only do so little. I can only look forward to the new year with the anticipation that I will do something better.
