It feels like it was just yesterday when Life dealt treacherously with me. On many occasions, I would walk 20 km, sometimes up to 35 km because I didn't have money for transportation and was too proud to beg. With my pride, I couldn't sit in one place because I was limited in finance. I have trekked so much that I still feel the effects to date. I never knew stress ulcers were real until recently when I started feeling their effect whenever I trekked. But I would be lying if I said that was the toughest point of my life because truth being said, at a young age I faced a lot of life-threatening challenges that have made me stronger, I look back at the things I cried for some years back, and I see how those things have made me approach life challenges differently.
Imagine crying because I hadn't eaten for two days, but the time came when I might eat twice a week, and I wouldn't mind, not because I wasn't hungry or I lost my appetite, but because I learned to adapt. I look back at those times and see how far I have come, but yet I do not count them as the toughest point of my life. I have shared the story here before, and I'm quite certain it's not a story that can be forgotten easily because of all the mistakes I have made, it will stick with me for life. It's never easy when you are betrayed subtly over and over again because you chose to love the wrong person. It's more painful when those you would give your life for, wouldn't even move an inch for you. For the purpose of those visiting my blog for the first time, I will throw some light on the story, and for those who have read it before, well you will read it again 😂.
It's been two years already since I was dating a girl while in my final year. Remember I spent 8 years doing a five-year course, well I was finally in my finals and my girlfriend (now ex) told me she was pregnant. I was scared out of my bones but I decided I wouldn't leave her nor the baby to suffer the mystery of life. I had a mouthwashing opportunity that I was about to turn down from a very popular oil firm in Africa because I wanted to finish my education (Remember I was sponsoring myself). The thought of her and the baby made me decide to take the bull by the horns and drop out, but then she gave me the biggest blow of my life when she said she wasn't keeping the baby.
She knew how much I loved her, and everything I was ready to do, but she made up her mind to tell me there was nothing I could do about it. And I must give her the money for the abortion. I thought I could convince her until she threatened to take her life if I let her have the baby. She later told her mum about it and both began to mount heavy pressure on me. Did I mention that she is a pastor's daughter, and a mother, a pastor's wife, who would see her daughter do such knowing full well my intentions and capacity to take care of her and the baby? I finally let them have their wish by sending her the money for the abortion, she did it, and after a week called me that she was still pregnant.
We confirmed it from the doctor that did the abortion and the doctor said it was so because she was carrying twins which the scan did not reveal. The doctor advised that she keep the pregnancy as she had just come under the knife a week ago, but on reaching home, she and her mother began to mount another pressure on me for a second abortion. There was nothing I didn't do, but they wouldn't hear my plea until I gave them the money for another abortion. When it was finally over I was heartbroken knowing they had ruined my chances of becoming a father because of their selfish ambition. I later discovered that they opted to remove the pregnancy because she was still seeing her ex-boyfriend.
It was hard to look at her again after everything, I had no choice but to end everything seeing the kind of family she had and their influence on her. After the breakup, I later discovered she had lost her womb in the second abortion and couldn't tell me because I warned her about it. She tried so much for us to get back together but after I discovered everything and she admitted them, she no longer had the face to beg for my forgiveness again. Last week I was shocked to see her in My house looking so unkept, it was clear she needed help but I guess she couldn't summon the courage to ask after she saw my sister who by the way would have ensured she had her pound of flesh.
My relationship with her became an eye-opener for me, especially in the issues regarding love. The lady I met after would have played me even worse than she did if I had not noticed the red flags on time. I guess I'm at fault for always loving the wrong people and giving all. It's who I am though, what is my love then if I can not give it all. However, I have learned never to ignore the red flags and ensure I look out for proof of whatever love anyone claims to have for me before giving myself over. I also crossed my heart never to change because someone wasn't deserving of the love I showed, but instead, keep on showing love until the love met the right person. And when it does, there would be more to give.
