Growing up as a mischievous child, if there is one thing i’ve learned is that you can never do enough as a parent, you can never know it all, you would never get all right, you will make a lot of bad decisions in the process of trying to do what you think is best for your child, but at the end of the day what matters most is that you love that child and show how much you mean well for them. The child on the other hand, still maturing with very little experience about life might become impulsive, and curious to dive into deep waters not understanding the consequences of their actions.
There is a limit to the level at which you can influence your child. Take it or leave it, you can influence 70% to 80% of your child’s life if you do it the right way, and can at the same lose zero influence on every aspect of their life if you don’t do it right. This doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it just means you never took advantage of the opportunity to bond with your child and understand their personality and thus guide them based on such. But then again, apart from the way you influence your child, however that child turns out to be in the future would be as a result of their upbringing.
No matter how much a child changes as an adult there is always a foundation that change is built on, and it is always the foundation you built for them. If a child turns out to never want to get married it is usually because they saw something about marriage in their childhood that brought about such a decision. You see children say I want a marriage like what my parents have, or I don’t want a marriage like what my parents have, or I want to grow up to be this and that because of how I saw this (growing up s a child)
Today as much as I hate to admit, I obey my parents just out of courtesy, they do not have a direct influence over my life especially because i have seen them to be a lot of things I do not want to be. However, I would love to marry a woman that would love me as my mum loves my dad but I would not want to have the kind of marriage my parents have. So you see there are reasons I do not let them influence my decisions, for my dad, he was almost never there, and for my mum, at a point I got to know things that she thought me as untrue.
By the time I got to know the things I’ve always been taught as untrue (not necessarily lies because my mum really believes them to be true to date) I couldn’t help but search for the truth outside my family and finding that truth exposed other untrue things I’ve been taught. All I’m saying is childing grow to be adults who would take responsibility for their actions at the end of the day.
However these actions are determined by the foundation the parents built as a child. The foundation is not in words, or preachings or training which all though are important but not enough, the main foundation is in the bond between the parent and the child. It is whoever the child bonds with the most that affects them. They bond with society, or friends, and you lose them forever.
