The Battle Between How I See My Self and How Others See Me

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Hello everyone. Thanks reading my posts.

Within myself, there is a continual exchange—how I see myself against the way everyone else sees me. Occasionally, the pair match up clearly. That seems satisfying, as though viewing myself distinctly in a shiny surface. Frankly speaking, for the most part, they aren’t aligned. Whenever they clash, things become strange. It’s puzzling, from time to time maddening, as well as, if you don’t resist, it could affect you deeply.

I evaluate myself based on my purposes. I understand what I intend to accomplish—despite the fact that things don’t go as planned. I observe the little conflicts: determination, exertion, development that nobody else perceives. I evaluate myself based on my strength to persistently come back, even though I don’t always come out on top. So, for me, I’m always in the process of becoming better. Less than perfect—possibly quite distant from that—yet constantly learning.

But other people? They don’t see any of that. They just see what I actually do, how I act, the choices I make. To them, I might look confident when inside, I’m anxious. Or they think I’m standoffish when I’m just tired. There’s this disconnect. They see snapshots, I see the whole story.

So, are these two images the same? Not really. That’s where it gets interesting.

The gap between how you see yourself and how others see you—it’s uncomfortable. You start to wonder: Am I who I think I am? Why don’t people get me? But honestly, that gap matters. It shows you what you’re missing, where you’re not communicating well, where your actions don’t match your intentions.

You don’t have to reject everyone’s opinion or accept them all without question. The smart move is to pause and really consider which opinions matter. Some feedback, especially from people who care and actually know you, can open your eyes to things you never noticed. That’s the viewpoint—observing yourself from different perspectives.

The point is: do not allow the clamor of others’ criticisms overwhelm you. If you constantly reshape yourself to satisfy others’ expectations, you eventually become lost, losing sight of who you truly are. Discover the equilibrium. Let your own intuition guide you, and incorporate the input of others to adjust yourself subtly rather than completely change.

So, what do you do about the differences?

I pay attention—to the appropriate individuals. I reflect—honestly, even if it stings. And then you act—intentionally, beyond simply trying to please.

Progress is derived from bridging the gap, rather than forcing it to shut. Occasionally it’s necessary for you to communicate more effectively so that others understand your true self. At times you simply accept that particular individuals may not understand you, and that’s totally acceptable.

Your self-assessment ought to be your foundation, and not your confinement. What others think? These are instruments, rather than restraints. After you grasp how to find balance—with mental clarity, self-confident—you stop looking for approval and start living genuinely.

Given that the person you are is more than what you see in the mirror, or how others perceive you. That's the balance you build between the two.

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