A toxic relationship is something no one should be involved in, it damages one mental, emotional, and physical health…, just name it. I have told myself that I would never spend a day in a toxic relationship, Immediately I realize it is a toxic relationship, I am out. I have always told myself before that I would never stay in any toxic relationship but now I don’t even want to wait a day in a toxic relationship.
At some times in our lives, we have been in a toxic relationship and if not, we have heard of or seen someone in a toxic relationship exactly in a romantic or dating relationship. But today, In response to the weekly contest, I’ll share my friend’s experience in a toxic friendship.
Esther was a friend of mine, she had just been admitted too, basically, she was new to the school. She had a roommate who had been to another school, a polytechnic but she later came to university, so she was experienced. She was rich kinda. I mean doing okay, she was an outgoing type and someone who is exposed. Her roommate's name was Bimbo.
Esther was not from a rich family, she was just on an average, I guess. her parents doesn’t really send her so much money but Esther knew her parent was doing their best. She was contended at first with whatever she had but as time passed she started to mingle with Bimbo eventually they become friends.
Bimbo and Esther became friends, always hanging out together, I have always loved them together, So adorable. Bimbo came to realize how Esther was always managing herself, she decided to help Esther.
I could see changes in Esther, she was happier and felt more involved. Bimbo usually gives Esther stuff, most times she sponsored Esther's transport fee and feeding. I usually think of her nicely and say that she was very kind until I knew the story behind it.
After a semester, she said Bimbo began to change, although she was always kinda dominating but it started to get worse she told me what she has been enduring, she said that their friendship was killing her mentally, emotionally, and physically. She explained how her opinions are discarded easily and how she lives by Bimbo’s perspective.
She explained how she have been belittled by Bimbo and their other friends, she was never supported, and every idea and thing she bring up are just like trash, she was always controlled, disrespected, and used. She said she wanted to leave completely but she thought of how she was going to survive.
She said she would never forget when she went to a birthday party with Bimbo and her friends, she said Bimbo had agreed to borrow her her clothes beforehand, but when a guy at the party made a nice comment about her dress, Bimbo said without thinking twice, she said out loud “oh, it is my cloth, of course. How could she afford something like that? Not even in the next five years, I guess.”
Esther was mad at Bimbo that she could not take it so she voice out. She yelled at Bimbo and told her she couldn’t keep up with all the controlling behavior that she possessed, she couldn’t keep up with the negative comments and belittling. They eventually fought with words to be precise.
I never actually knew, It was after this (the fight) that she narrated all of this to me, I was so surprised that she could live up to that, she also said a lot of things that I could not help but pity her. And I told, I could remember vividly, I said “You have reached the point where you have to choose between happiness or fancy living. The choice is yours to make but I believe that you will survive without her. How long are you going to survive with her?”
Fortunately, I’ll say. Esther never apologized to Bimbo for lashing out and Bimbo never apologized for treating her badly. So, Bimbo left the next year and Esther found another roommate. I was so glad she was able to voice out and gain her freedom. God knows I don’t joke with my self-esteem.
From her story, I have learned never to give anyone a chance to make me feel less comfortable in any form of relationship. Learn to voice out and then know your point of view. I have had some situations where it seems like a toxic relationship but I don’t make it last long.
The more you wait in a toxic relationship, the more you get uncomfortable and in some cases, the bond will get so deep that even you will feel guilty for breaking it up. I love to express my feelings, to have that conversation, where we all state our do and don’t and to have boundaries set.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝.
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