Why Children Suffer the Most in Divorce

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Welcome new and regular readers of my blog.

The topic this time is the divorce and the effect it has on children.

Let's start by saying that the reasons for divorce can be many.

Generally, they are based or focused on the differences that parents have. I have seen many families, especially recently, that end up separating because they discover that they are not what they thought at first.

And this happens because in the stage of falling in love, they let themselves be carried away because everything is beautiful and everything is attractive, simply because of a good physical appearance.

But when they begin to discover these little details of the day to day, they realize that they cannot be compatible or that they cannot bear, for example, that the other person constantly separates at midnight or all night to go to the bathroom.

And this can cause discomfort and breakups in the relationship.

Now, this brings, of course, problems, whether it is the separation due to an issue of incompatibility or simply because love is over.

Love died and this usually happens on many occasions.

Other times it is because family or social pressures force them to separate.

Many times I have seen how friends of one side or the other constantly tell them that this woman or man is not for them.

There is even pressure on many occasions from the bishop or the religious person in charge of a community telling them that this man or woman is not the appropriate one and the one who meets the necessary standards by the church or by the community to be their partner.

And the relationship ends up breaking. And here the affected part is not only the couple, but also the children.

When there are children involved, things get complicated. Because when it comes to separation, the children do not understand or do not have the capacity to understand what is happening.

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And here comes the first question.

The damage they suffer can be compared to the mental damage their relatives suffer?.

Obviously, a child does not have the level of reasoning that their father or mother will have. So, to justify or compare the psychological or mental damage that a young mind is going to suffer compared to an old mind, I think it has no comparison.

Obviously, the young mind is more likely to absorb ideas and suffer more damage.

It may be believed that because it is a young mind, it is better equipped to endure this type of damage. But it is quite the opposite.

Since their ability to reason is not developed, they are more vulnerable to suffering this type of damage.

At least that's how I think. I am not based on any scientific study.

I am simply based on my reasoning, which I have always enjoyed analyzing things well.

It seems to me that exposing a young creature who has no experience, who has not learned to develop critical thinking and reasoning, who has not had experiences in life, and exposing them to this type of emotion and experience, obviously harms their mental health.

While an adult who has lived through certain experiences in life and is mentally stronger, is probably going to be in much better mental condition than a child who has no experience.

And that's where the difference is. And that's where I see the point of inflection that cannot be compared.

To answer this question, I think that in this case, I obviously put the child's mental health at risk.

Because there is no comparison between the damage that the child will have mentally and the damage that the father or mother will be able to suffer.

The father or mother will have a greater ability to reason and understand why they have separated.

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But the trauma that this will cause in a young mind will not be repaired so easily.

Because we would have to wait for the child to have a high level of maturity or for the years to pass so that the child can rationalize and assimilate everything that has happened.

And with this, the other question is answered.

Which is more important, the mental health of the parents or that of the children?

Obviously, for me, the mental health of the children is more important.

I must say that since this issue of divorce comes to the fore, precisely to avoid divorce, it must be planned with a lot of awareness and a lot of analysis.

The person with whom you are going to get married, get to know her very well, spend a long enough time with that person to get to know her fully.

What she likes, what she dislikes, the people and places she frequents.

Because in this way we will be able to guarantee that we really want to share life with this person and thus avoid divorce.

And we will also be able to be sure if that person is with whom we want to share our life and form a family.

Keeping in mind that it will always be difficult to share life with a person, because regardless of whether we are completely sure that this is the person who will accompany us for the rest of our lives, we must also know that we are going to have many obstacles and we are going to suffer moments in which we are going to have discussions because this is part of life.

And precisely being good and being able to have the ability to solve these problems and assimilate them as a couple, as a team, is part of the challenge that arises in having a relationship.

And not divorcing is part of other challenges.

This has been my contribution to the topic of this week, which I found quite interesting.