Can we say it is that the world is evolving or what, these days you see someone who did something completely scandalous, maybe sleeps with his/her colleague partner, like the case of this Nigerian actor( Babatee), some says something harmful, some get exposed for fraud, some even commit heinous crimes and before you know what is happening, they appear online with straight face, then you see them start with a deep sigh and all.
Most of these things are planned, some are rehearsed, there are a lot of fake tears, and fake sad faces, and the worst part of it is the way many applaud it, they call it courage, they named the individual an accountable one. But is that it?
I am a Nigerian, and I grew up in a place where you just have to be humble, you must apologize, sincerely for doing anything wrong, back when we were still very young, if we offend someone, we won't just say sorry, we'd go with our parents or elders, we most times even kneel down and be very sober, not a planned one, or for eye service, but we do it because our heart was heavy, and we knew we had done something wrong and caused pain.
I remember a time when I was in school, it was my first year in the higher institution, things were a bit tough at home and I was having financial difficulties in school, a friend told me about a work at the outskirt of my state, its very stressful, but it pays well, so I left school to work without informing my parents, it wasn't for anything bad, just to support myself. When they got to know, they were upset. I had to take one of my pastors along to help me apologize and explain my intentions. I needed to apologize and make them understand.
Apology was not meant to be a show as it is today, it was an act of responsibility and it show's accountability, also it comes with change. But today, when you offend someone, you just go online, release a fake apologetic video while turning off the comment section and then you go offline for a week or two, and that's it, you just reappear with something else and everyone feels alright with it.
But what can we say, dome of thses apologies are genuine, you can feel it in the voice, the choice of words, the discomfort in the person’s eyes, there won't be any makeup, no editing, no pause and play, it will be real and feel so raw. The genuine ones will definitely make it known, they will say what they did, they won't try to paint themselves as a good person, they won't give excuse and they will take the blame for whatever happens. But today, what they did and call apologetic video's is not, they are not sorry for doing what is wrong, they are only sorry for getting caught.
The questions to ask are...who are these videos really for, the people we hurt or the followers we want to keep, are we apologizing to feel better, or to help someone else heal....? Apology shouldn't be acting. True remorse is not meant to be trendy, it should be more about the people we hurt, and not about saving face, it should go beyond the screen, reach out privately to the victims, if theres the need to make a video or apologetic message online, do it, make it real, make it truly apologetic. Most importantly, show change in actions, not in scripted speeches.
Apologies videos are good, I just want us to stop mistaking performance for repentance, not every tear is real, being sorry is not all about looking sad, it’s about being better. And in this digital age, where everyone is watching, the real apology is not what you say on camera, it's what you do after the lights are off and no one is clapping or watching.
Both picture's are generated using AI
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