I think that was last week, in one of our discord groups we were having this exact conversation. Talking about how the society expects that a man should always be man and man up each and every time, showing no sign of weakness or tiredness. And I can't deny how that the world is now changing and people are demanding and encouraging men to speak out too, to be vocal about their challenges, struggles and all, they ask us to be free and let out our emotions and even cry if possible.
The thing is, men get pressured too, we worry, we get tired and exhausted as well, most times we get so overwhelmed, that we don't even know what next to do. It reminds me of an older friend of mine, he came to my place one day and broke down, he wanted to talk but he couldn't, he just started weeping and those tears helped him to let it all out. He's married and is facing stuffsein his relationship, he's facing things at work too and nothing seems to be working. He talked about how uneasy things were for him and how he dare not says he will stop working or stop trying. That day, I felt it, even though I'm not married, it hit me, I know what I'm facing as a bachelor talk less of someone who's married with kids. That day I saw things differently, men are humans too and seeing a grown man cry doesn't mean he's weak, he's human too, he gets tired too, the weight is breaking him too, but the society we are in isn't one to see all of that. They don't expect him to look weak, he's a man.
One thing I will keep hammering on is the fact that be are humans too, men are humans. It's just that society we are in happens to be one that demands us to be tough. And sometimes, the people we keep close to us as well, girlfriend, fiancee or even our wife don't know how to respond to us at such a time. The price that a man has to pay to continue to be a man is to keep everything bothering him bottled in.
I experienced something some time ago, the man was facing some problems, and as it was weighing him down, he decided to tell the closest person to him—his wife. They talked about it and the wife did her best to calm him and all and that things will get better. Few day's later, the wife had an issue as well, and because she knows her husband is going through certain things too, she decided to keep mute about it. To her, she's being considerate, but to the man he felt like, this is "see finish," and that the woman has now seen him as being incapable.
And that's the twist about these things, even though I personally believe that the narrative should change. That men should continue to be men but when they are facing anything they should let it out. But it goes beyond them speaking up, it requires that we their friends, girlfriends, sister, colleague, or wife can really give them the space without judging them or seeing them less of a man, maybe then things will change.
You probably haven't seen one yet, but big boys do cry. And when they do, it's never because they are weak. It takes huge courage for a man to cry and speak up, so respect and don't ridicule it.
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Images are mine.
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