Well, to me it's a risk I have had to take in the past year, it might not really sound like one, but believe me, it is.
I went through and illness that took a lot of things away from me and kind of took my time too, it was a very long and painful experience. I've talked about it and often mention it at times, but last year, I talked about it a lot, like never before. I write about it here, I cite it as examples in my write-ups, I wrote about it, discussed some of my experiences and used it as stories while treating some prompts and all. I really did not feel safe sharing it or writing about it, but last year, I did. I even discussed it with people offline while trying to encourage them as well. And like I said, it might not look like a risk to some, but to me, it is.
And some of the things I feared happened when I began to open up about my life and experiences. People began to treat me differently, some looked at me with pity, and that I hate most, I really hate to be pitied, but some did show it.
There are some who also treated me as if I were a egg, like I would break. Some began to discourage me from participating in some work, chores, and such. I know my health, I know what I can do. But the way they started acting made me feel bad. Not as if I was expecting all of that, but still it didn't sit well with me.
But considering the fact that I already took the risk, I just overlooked all of that. At least, it's kind of helping, calming and soothing some people, so sharing it was worth the inconveniences and discomfort.
In that same line was one other risk, during the time that I was sick, my eyes opened to a whole lot of things, I saw humans for who and what they really are. Some people came through for me, some left along the line, some stayed till the end, some came close, some gave their distance, some came when it was way too late, while some didn't even show up at all. Truth be told, I was already distant from people as at the time too, the sickness was really dealing with me and nothing actually mattered anymore, even still I knew those who were there for me and those who weren't.
So, while recovering, I had told myself to never trust people the way I used too, to keep my distance and be very careful. But then, it wasn't as if I am not being careful, but then I choose to be more humane. I could have decided to be more selfish, self-centered, withdrawn and all, nobody should have really blamed me, they would just think it's the sickness that brought it about.
But then, I just choose to let go even though I have reasons not to. There are a lot of people who said and did stuff back then, but guess what, I'm not holding it against them, I've let bygones be bygones. I chose to be kind, generous, friendly and peaceful. It's a risk, you might not know though, but to me, it is.
The fact that I'm open about my experiences and still being kind doesn't mean I'm not being careful or that I'm kinda dumb, nope. I've just learned to not allow anything stop me from being human. So, I'm kinda applying wisdom while taking those risks.
Seasons greetings To Y'all š
Happy New Year š
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