If peer pressure was a human being, I'm sure it will be screaming "I'm not as bad as you think I am, can you just get to know me first?"
Contrary to popular opinion, I believe peer pressure can be very beneficial. Feel free to doubt me now, because in a matter of seconds you'll have to agree with me.
Peer pressure is often viewed from the negative side, but can you just take a little walk with me to view it from another angle? You're willing? Okay, let's go.
Taking the words exactly for what they mean, your peers are people in the same age group with you and pressure is a direct or indirect, constant influence from someone or a group of people, (this is not a dictionary definition, just my definition). So, we can say peer pressure is the constant influence we get from people in our age group.
It's very understandable that people perceive peer pressure to be bad because we have seen people, especially teenagers do really unbelievable things due to peer pressure (one of the most hilarious one is using plastic bottles to make their lips bigger and fuller to look like that of a celebrity, I mean, who does that?). But twisting this a little bit, do you believe you can be influenced to do the right thing or be a better person because of someone you follow on social media or someone you stay around often?
If you're anything like me, you might be the kind of person who subconsciously emulates those you often hang around with. This can be a good thing, it can shape your life for the better and it can also be very damaging because it's purely subconscious, you won't even know when you're doing it.
One thing I wish I can scream into the ears of all young people on this planet earth is to be SELF AWARE, do a study on yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses, listen to feedbacks from people (this needs a lot of sieving though, because some people are just born haters), know you, get in touch with you and BE YOU! Then create a pathway to leverage on your strengths.
If you become aware that you can subconsciously pick up people's character around you, you must be very intentional about the people around you, both physically, the people you follow on social media, the kind of videos you watch, the kind of conversations you allow.
Yes, I know you can't really stop yourself from seeing some negative things, but you can stop yourself from interacting with them and you can intentionally create an environment that embodies people that will help you become a better version in yourself. Now, isn't that peer pressure? That constant influence from people, if the influence is a good influence, then the peer pressure you're getting is good and beneficial.
Some of us, like an Orange, need to be pressured to bring out the best in us, if not, we might just remain in mediocrity. You have to put pressure on an Orange before it brings out juice.
So many times, I hear people say "young people don't be under financial pressure, you're still young", and I understand that they want us to play safe, and you can continue that way if you're Dangote's in law or Elon Musk's younger brother's, sister's cousin, because it's either 'sapa' restricts your air flow or wipes you oraimo cord behind your neck.
I'll say "don't be under the bad influence, be constantly influenced positively" which in other words is actually 'pressure'. If some of us are not pushed and pressured, our best versions might just be popular within the pages of our journals and the world might never get to see it 💔.
So, now that you know this, what should you do? First of all, this is a very great advantage for you, if you subconsciously emulate those you stay around (it can also be a serious disaster if you stay around those who influence you negatively).
Even if you have to be consciously emulate others, it's still an advantage for you.
Here's a list of few things to do:
- Prune your social media; scan through your instagram or twitter, unfollow anyone whose contents disturb your mental health, makes you look down on yourself, or just do things the real you won't do (in a negative perspective).
- Unfollow people who put negative pressure on you (showing huge results and leaving you to wonder how to get there on you own).
- Don't feel bad for when you unfollow them, it's not them (it doesn't mean they are bad), it's you (the way their content affects you) (Nigerian's best break up lines 🤣)
- Follow and engage with those who have beautiful results and are willing to show you how they got there.
- Keep friends that drain you or don't add to you, at arms length.
- Intentionally make friends with people who have what you want (when I wanted to increase my GP in school, I made friends with those who had higher GP).
- Join communities with people of like minds.
For people like me, who subconsciously emulates people, this is not an excuse to having bad characters because you stay around people who behave that way. Subsequently, I'll talk about being a victim of your environment; choosing to play victim and choosing not to.
Let me draw this curtain to a close by saying, know the things around you that influence you positively and negatively and set up pathways to leverage on the positive influences and cut out the negative influences. Never forget, when that influence gets constant, it actually becomes 'pressure', so know what kind of 'pressure' you allow to affect you.
See you at the top.
Cheers 🥂