Everyday in our lives, we take risks. Sometimes it's big, sometimes personal and most times just what anyone could call a mere or minor. For me, the most recent risk I took is choosing a new path and that's my decision of staying alone.
Yeah, to some it might not be a risk, but for me it's a big risk. All my life, I have been surrounded by family, roommates and friends. I have never lacked people to spend nights with, talk with and eat with or just feel their presence around me even when we decide to be quiet to each other. Life with people around us can be fun even though some days come with some drama.
Before I finally took a bold step, whenever the thought of staying alone comes up, I get scared and start imagining the unknown. But the thought that I need my space, to do my things the way I want it done , to listen to my inner mind without any interruption was my motivation to go ahead.
So, the idea of living alone completely by myself was scary at first thought. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I felt a wave of fear. I would imagine all the unknowns: what if I couldn’t cope? What if I got too lonely? What if something bad happened, and no one was there? What if there is an outbreak of war in the middle of the night? An undepartable thought anyone living in the North wouldn't fail to have.
I went ahead and got a space. I moved in with the necessary things I needed. This time around, no family, no roommate, just myself and I. For almost a month, my heart never stopped beating very fast at night. I missed hearing my neighbors voices trying to keep hearing strange imaginary voices from nowhere.
With time, I started getting used to staying alone. I was enjoying my comfort zone gradually, I found freedom, I could play my music without having anyone telling me to use earphones, I could decide when and when not to turn on my fan, I left my things in any part of the room without them being compromised.
Staying alone allowed me to discover so much about myself I never knew. Though I was beginning to enjoy everything without compromise, the truth remains I missed those days I had roommates, lived with family and so on.
To answer the question if this risk is paying off, I will say yes because this new phase of my life has made me feel better, independent and it has been an opportunity for me to discover so much about myself. This is one risk I took without waiting for an approval from anyone and the journey has been nothing but growth and strength.
Taking risk is not easy at all but some risk ends up being rewarding at the end. The beginning of any journey doesn't look smooth but we just have to believe in ourselves and be positive.