Considering the way those of my generation were brought up, our parents can be deemed to be intrusive. They micromanaged us so much to the point that we seemingly grew up without a mind of our own. Like, everything we did passed through our parents. We dare not query them; we dare not challenge them. And that's why a lot of adults are out there struggling to find a way to solve life's problems because they were never taught to anticipate one.
Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks we are bestowed with. Just this evening I was discussing how incredibly difficult it is to raise a girl child in these days where morality has been thrown out of the window. One will see godly parents do their best to train a girl child only for her to turn up pregnant in her first year in the university. Crazy deeds, really.
If a child raised in a godly home can mess up so badly, can the ones raised in a seemingly lax environment wade through the tempestuous storms of life without messing themselves up? How can parents mould their kids in a way where they are certain the kids won't step out of line despite the temptations around them?
I watched a video on LinkedIn some days ago. A man and his little boy was walking on a path. When they got to the middle of the path they were met by a rope intertwined to form a blockade. The father carefully navigate his way out of the blockade without holding his son. At first, the boy clamored for his dad to help him through the blockade.
Instead, the father continued to walk, leaving the child to find a way to pass through. At the first trial, the boy failed. After a couple trials he got it right and walked up to his waiting father on the other side. On first look it seems wicked of the father to abandon the child. But when I realized he wanted the boy to find a way to solve the challenge in front of him, I was very happy.
As parents, we can never stop showing the kids the right path. However, it is also important to let them think and create paths for themselves as we guide them. We must avoid the temptations to get involved in everything they do. Like I earlier said, a lot of folks are struggling nowadays because their lives were micromanaged by their parents. They do not have a mind of their own.
As regards giving them space without being intrusive, I believe running background checks and avoiding direct confrontation based on the results found can help to keep them in line. For parents, go to the school of your kids without their knowledge. Talk to their class teachers and their headteacher. Children and teenagers spend their most active hours of the week in school. They can't hide from their teachers and mates.
If the report from the school isn't the best, don't go guns blazing and punishment wielding all of a sudden. In some cases, a little discussion may solve it all. And most importantly, as parents, make yourself accessible to your kids at all times. If they trust you, they will always come clean even when they're messing up. With that, they'll tell you what's happening and you can give advice based on experience, a perfect win-win situation.
In conclusion, nothing ruins a kid faster than a parent who wants to keep a tight leash on his or her kid at all times. The kid will seek freedom and will enjoy it wherever he finds it, even if it is with the worst of people. As a matter of fact, some teenagers don't enjoy it when their parents show up in their class unannounced. That's how much kids love their privacy. It's up to parents to find ways to know what their kids do away from their prying eyes.
