Subject A: Solomon
Solomon is a level headed boy with a high intelligent quotient. He is attentive in class and easily one of the best students in the school. At the age of 12, he already looks mature and can handle himself. But, he sometimes gets into silly fights. Solomon's parents are staying together. His dad is an entertainer who travels a lot. Whenever he's not on a tour trip, he's at home perfecting his art. Solomon's mom is a healthcare worker. She can be overworked and not really have time for the family.
At some point Solomon started showing traits of mild violence. He's bigger than most of his classmates so he can easily beat them. Further probe into his behaviors showed that Solomon's dad has anger issues that are being unknowingly transferred to the boy. He said his dad used to get angry and lash out at him whenever he's struggling with his craft.
Subject B: Dapo
The first time I saw Dapo I couldn't stop laughing. The boy looks overfed and effeminate. His mom followed him to the school and nearly lined up at the assembly with him. You could see how the woman was doing everything to make life easy for the boy.
Academically, Dapo was good. In terms of character, he never constituted a nuisance. He can be playful sometimes but so does every teenager. Aside from regular school hours, Dapo attends extra lessons and the mom gets to school before closing hours to wait for him. The boy is mature enough to take care of himself but his mother makes herself available at all times. Dapo has a sister. Both of them are being raised by their mother, singly.
Subject C: David
My first encounter with David wasn't a palatable one. I was new in the school and was doing my best to teach my first class. Right in front of me was a boy constituting a nuisance and distracting the class time and again. David was the first person that I could actually recognize amidst the whole students. I was curious to know this troublesome boy who happens to be academically poor.
David lived with a relative, his parents were not in the picture. After studying him for a while I noticed some interesting character traits in him. Troublesome? Yes, but that's where it ends. Everything else about the boy is good. It took a while for me to know he doesn't come to school with food or money. He was getting maltreated by the relative he stays with but he never misbehaved because of that.
By the time I quit the job, David already improved academically. He no longer looks rough and has toned down his troublesome character. He was building himself towards a purpose life without minding the rough treatment he gets from those around him. His maturity was already evident.
The three subjects represent kids from the three home settings regularly seen: one from a complete family, one raised by a single parent and one with absent parents. Their circumstances mean they all have glaring disadvantages from the way they were raised: Solomon with anger issues, Dapo looking effeminate and David struggling to cope with the mental side of things.
Now, parenting is a huge task, a sacrifice. I can tell you this because I am a parent and I know how it feels. On a good day, raising a child under the watchful eyes of two dedicated parents remains the best option. The child gets the mental and emotional support needed to grow into a responsible adult. However, no one can predict the way of this world and the happenings in it.
Dapo's mom was definitely doing everything in her capacity to raise her boy in a good way. If I were to grade her parenting skills, I'd say it's top notch and her kids are doing well. I saw the amount of stress she goes through for her kids and it's impressive. She provided every material the boy needed. Now, that's a parent who understands the task.
As for Solomon with two financially stable parents, he looks perfect on the outside but a mess internally. His parents are too busy to the point that he seems like an unwanted problem to them. Their careers were their priorities while he takes back stage in his parents' lives. Those are parents who are not ready to pay the price to raise their kids.
In conclusion, two good heads are always better than one. However, near perfect kids have been raised in broken homes. In like manners, drug addicts and rapists have been raised in perfect looking monogamous homes. Heck, a lot of cult guys were raised in affluence by their parents who are living together. So, the structure of the home doesn't define a child's growth/development. What defines it is the effort parents are willing to put in to raise their kids. And even at that, a thousand and one other things may come along the line to influence a child's growth.
Like someone rightly said, there is no manual to life after all; we are all just living it the way we know how to.
NB: The names up there are not real ones.
