Is there anything like a biological mother in surrogacy? Let me be clear here, surrogacy is a legally binding contract between two parties where one agrees to carry a foetus from conception till childbirth for another. To start with, the baby developing in the womb of the surrogate shares no DNA with her. So, how does someone who doesn't share DNA with a person become the mother?
Without mincing words, a surrogate mother should have no business with the child she carried. Though this may sound harsh, I think that the presence of a surrogate mother in the life of the child may lead to complications and conflict of interests. Also, the surrogate mother knows what she was getting into when she signed the contract to carry a baby for nine months and, in turn, get paid a good amount of money for it. She signed a deal with very clear terms and conditions.
Will the presence of a surrogate mother help the child? I don't think so. In fact, it will complicate things for the innocent child because he or she didn't ask to be born in such circumstances. One thing that remains clear is that no two people treat or raise kids in the same way. And considering how people can get entitled so quickly and try to change the narrative, it will be, in fact, silly of the biological parents to involve the surrogate mother in the life of the child. Doing that will expose the child and themselves to a possible danger in the future.
Each time I think about surrogacy, the easy example that always comes to mind is that of football megastar Cristiano Ronaldo's first child, Cristiano Jr. Though the stories surrounding his birth don't sound exactly like modern-day surrogacy, it looked very similar. Cristiano Jr was allegedly born to a mother who was made to sign a deal not to ask about the child again. Though that may not be true, there are very few stories or articles online about who his mother is. And for such a high-profile family, her absence in the child's life, who is well on his way to also becoming a star like his dad, is very conspicuous. Now, that is the way surrogacy should be: a woman carrying a child for nine months, delivering the baby, giving the baby to the biological and legal owners, and disappearing for life. Plain and simple.
Though I've not really seen one happen, but there are stories out there of surrogate mothers who have tried to emotionally blackmail the child they birthed into forming a bond with them, especially if the child goes on to become very successful in life. They will purposely neglect the fact that the child wasn't biologically theirs and use the nine months they carried the baby as leverage. Look, they got paid for their service, and if the money is well spent, they will build something out of it. So, it's no point pandering to their emotional needs.
Now, I understand peculiar situations where the surrogate mother may be a family member or close friend who actually helped out a close person who couldn't birth a child by herself. In such a scenario, sense has to be applied because the surrogate mother may see the child on regular occasions, which may arouse emotions. However, it's still the best for everyone if she keeps her distance.
