Are there things/habits you've had to or chosen to unlearn? What are they and why?
My last year in high school was a very interesting one. One of the highlights for me was the English Language class. The teacher would give us classworks and ask us to exchange our notes with our mates when it was time for marking. That was my favourite part of the class.
Whenever we were given essay and/or letter writing as the class work, the teacher's instruction would be for us to circle out every mistake we could spot and deduct 0.5 mark for it. That was when a seemingly good habit of mine first reared its ugly head.
The first time we were asked to mark ourselves, the total score was 20. The guy I marked his note scored minus 10 over 20. When he saw his note, he was livid. "How is it even possible to score a minus in ordinary class work?" He barked angrily at me.
For each English class we had, my list of victims grew. At some point, nobody in the class was willing to exchange their notes with me for marking. At first, it didn't bother me. But then, the English teacher had to address the matter in one particular class when he demanded to see the previous notes I'd marked.
As she checked through, she couldn't help but shake her head in disgust. She looked at me keenly and said, "Dude, you marked them down for simple things you should've overlooked. You are a perfectionist that is not even perfect. You are going to be a big problem to your loved ones."
That was the first time I heard the word "perfectionist" being used in the literal sense, and I instantly have a clear understanding of what it means. Based on her body language it showed it was a bad thing. But I was yet to get punished for it. Not yet.
The punishment for my obsessive habit of doing things the right way started coming in spades when I reached adulthood. By then I've become a full blown error-spotter. Everything that doesn't look right must be talked about. Every writeup I read, I saw mistakes. I was just never satisfied.
Having noticed this, my friends started taking back seats in activities. They'd rather not do a thing than for them to do it and be told what they did is not done to perfection. I lost valuable friends to this impulsive habit of mine. It destroyed a lot of relationships.
At first I thought they were leaving because of an inferiority complex. I felt they were the problem, not me. It took a dressing down from a lady to get my head straight. She called my bluff and made me realize I was the problem and not the good friends that left after getting tired of my bullshit.
It's been over 10 years since that faceoff and I am grateful for it. I have learnt to embrace the fact that our imperfections are what makes us functional human beings. Our imperfections are what drives innovations, improvements. Our imperfections are what makes us perfect.
Picture is 100% mine