Have you ever had to ghost someone? And afterwards, you felt guilty about it? Trust me, you're not heartless, you choose peace.
Ghosting: A word that feels like saying goodbye for the last time, and also sounds like vanishing into thin air without leaving any trace behind, so just that one person can't find you(which is, in a real sense, true). And if I'm being honest, the answer to this question is yes! I've ghosted a lot of people, and sometimes I feel guilty, while other times, I do it for my own peace of mind and sanity.
It wasn't easy letting this person go, you can say from the person's POV that I ghosted them. Funny how I still think about it from time to time, like how we would've been by now. We were just friends, not just any kind of friends, but childhood friends. I was always around her, not because of anything, but for the fact that I just loved her company, and the conversations we had.
We were fine until she changed high school, where she met her best friend. Whenever we had any conversation, I always felt left out because she would never share anything important with me again. Could you believe that she didn't even tell me she had gained admission into the university? I found out the day she was traveling. I felt betrayed because I thought we were friends and we're on the same page. I didn't know when she had her first boyfriend, I heard it from someone else that she was dating this guy. Maybe I was in her space too much and so I decided to give her a break and just do my thing without her in the picture.
I stopped texting her because, funny enough, I would be the one to check up on her every single time, then eventually, I stopped replying to her messages too. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months.
I felt like I was the bad guy for ignoring her at first, but I was doing myself a big favor. Talking to her made me feel angry and drained sometimes. I stopped visiting her like I normally did which was actually good for my mental health, because at a point, I thought I was the problem and somehow tried my best to always impress.
I was always there for her, but she was never there for me; my feelings never mattered to her, or she just didn't see me the same way that I saw he,r, which really hurt my feelings.
I never tried to approach her so we could talk about it, I felt like she was mature enough to choose her friends. Maybe I'm among the friends she needed to filter out from her life so she could achieve her dreams (maybe I was the bad egg)
So yeah, I ghosted my good friend, no goodbye or final explanation, I just disappeared from her life. Do I regret it? At first, I felt the void, yes! She had a huge part of my heart, but I only had to accept reality
I've learned this about life: ghosting isn't about immaturity; it's about protecting your mental health, and it's also about self-preservation. I'm not saying you should do this all the time to everyone, because sometimes, confrontation/closure is good.
So the answer is Yes, I've ghosted and been ghosted before, and I didn't even think twice about it. Of course, I felt pain, but at that point, it was the right thing to do because sometimes, walking away silently is the biggest form of self-respect you can give yourself, and I chose that.
If you've ever had to ghost someone, trust me, you're not heartless; it just means you chose peace.
All images are mine
Thanks for reading ❤️