We all face moments in life when someone hurts us, breaks our trust, or does something that hurts our feelings. I have also faced such experiences in my life. Sometimes a very close friend, sometimes a family member, or sometimes a colleague has hurt me deeply by their words or actions. Then I thought, “Is it possible to forget this?” or “Should I forgive this?”
I was very emotional as a child. When someone hurt me, I could not easily forget it. I would feel pride, anger, and an unknown pain. But gradually age and experience have taught me that if I hold on to anger or pride, the burden is on my shoulders, not on the other person. At my age, small experiences like this tell me that forgetting does not mean erasing everything. Rather, it is a way of protecting my mind. When I try to forget a painful event, I want to take my mind to a calm place, where the memory of that pain will not be able to hurt me anymore.
On the other hand, forgiving does not mean absolving the person of their wrongdoing, but it does not always restore trust. I have learned that forgiving is the greatest medicine for my mind. Because when I forgive, I actually free my own mind.
A few years ago, I had a misunderstanding with a friend. He said something that deeply hurt me. At first, I thought, I will never talk to him again. I did not communicate with him for a few months. But at that time, I realized that holding on to anger was exhausting me from the inside. Finally, I met him, opened up, and forgave him. Although our relationship was not the same as before, my mind felt much lighter.
I think that both forgetting and forgiving are necessary in life. Some events we may not be able to completely forget, but we can forgive, so that our minds are at peace. And there are some events that are better left forgotten, so that they do not hurt us again. In my experience, forgiving means choosing peace for yourself, and forgetting means creating a new space in your mind where good memories and new experiences can take place.