The beauty of life is that we can’t do it alone. As humans, we need people in our lives and that’s why we came into this world having families to be there for us , guide us and walk with us through this journey called life. But one thing about family is that you don’t get to choose your family. Whether good or bad, your family is still your family. You don’t get to just wake up one day and say your parents or siblings are no more who they are to you. Things don’t work that way.
Marriage as we all know is a huge step in the life of every individual. Before deciding to get married to someone, a lot has to be taken into consideration. Obviously, no one goes into marriage with the intention of getting a divorce but things do happen as we all know. When it comes to divorce, there are really a lot of factors that can lead to a divorce in marriage. Everyone’s divorce has a story behind it and it’s only the parties involved that really know what really went down to lead to that decision. And this is why I always advise that people don’t judge others or assume stuff about divorcees.
I recently met someone who had to let go of a marriage of over ten years. The reason for this divorce was a very delicate one and at the end of the day I came to understand why the divorce had to take place. But what I know is that the emotional impact of this divorce hasn’t be easy on both parties because having to let go of someone you have spent so much of your life with is not easy. But sometimes it’s necessary.
Divorce is hard. Not most people come out of a divorce okay while others carry the weight for so long. I wouldn’t wish divorce on anyone because I understand how it feels. The mental, financial , and emotional stress alone is enough to put you to depression for months and even years. Looking in the perspective of a divorce with kids, I’d say the effect is even worse as it’s not only limited to only both partners involved but also the kids. I always get sad when I hear of divorce cases with kids involved because most parents don’t know how to handle their personal issues and would end up dragging their kids into their divorce, feeding them with information that would make them not like the other parent and sometimes they even go to the extent of making the chose sides which isn’t healthy for both the kids and the parents.
To add to all this, after the divorce the lifestyle of the kids involved just becomes a mess, in most instances. For some parents, they’re able to establish a good routine for the kids to spend time with both parents but for others, one party takes the kids and they don’t even get to see the other parent for years. With this, the upbringing of these kids wouldn’t really be the ideal upbringing for kids because you never know where they will end up since the parent they are with can get married to another person and a whole lot. It’s just overwhelming and not fair on the side of the kids. But that’s not to say that the parents aren’t also affected by all these changes. They are , because they also have to bear the burden of raising kids alone, in most cases while also having their own life to live which is tough.
So, in the situation of a divorce, I wouldn’t really say anyone comes first. Not the kids, not the parents. Because they are all involved in one way or the other. At the end of the day, the goal is for everyone to be mentally okay, with no sort of trauma whatsoever over and not have their lives messed up because of a divorce. In this situation, everyone comes first!
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