Most of our parents deprived themselves of the kind of lives they had always desired, all because they committed their lives to nurturing us. There were lots of sacrifices put in place by them while we were kids, all in the quest to give us a good life. They were always there to support us and give us the care we needed at all times when we were not capable of taking care of ourselves, but then, should it be the other way around when it's our time to care for them at their old age? Should we consider retirement homes for our elderly parents for some reasons, or is it better they stay with us at home regardless? I will share my opinion below.
Granny and me
I understand that life can be too busy for many people, and thus, they consider taking their aged parents to retirement homes where they feel they will be cared for the more, which is not bad at all. But then, I would like to point out that family connection is vital, and I doubt if any retirement homes or professionals in caregiving can give our aged parents the kind of unique family connections they need at that time. Everything can't be gotten with money, and it's important not to create such emotional distance in such a way that our aged parents will feel abandoned by their own children.
The truth is that, while you may not have bad intentions about taking your parents to retirement homes, some of them might be affected emotionally by this decision. Also,
I have never seen a law that stated that we must return the exact care and support our parents gave us as a child, but then, there's what we call empathy. Imagine knowing the sacrifices my parents went through while I was a child and unable to care for myself, and then it reaches their turn, and I become too busy to create time and care for my parents.
It might be challenging to care for the old, but it is worth every bit of the time and energy spent on my parents. Even if I have the money, my parents stay with me as long as I am alive and healthy. When they poo or pee on themselves, I will tidy up the mess just like they did for me when I was a child. The least I can do is find maybe a nanny to stay in my home and do her part if I feel that the workload might be overwhelming considering other engagements I may have, but the option of taking my parents to retirement homes is out of it, and of course, personally, you may have a tangible reason to keep your parents over there, and it's fine as long as they receive the proper care and attention.
Mum & me
However, I feel that my elderly parents will be more connected to their loved ones when kept at home, which can positively affect their mental and emotional health. I feel that keeping them at home would be more relaxing for them as they stay around their grandchildren, creating nice memories and sharing their undiluted knowledge, and it becomes a win-win.
Even if my elderly parents need some kind of medical attention, I believe there are ways to achieve that under my care without necessarily keeping them at retirement homes for the caregiver to do better. Overall, if my parents didn't see nurturing me as a burden, then I shouldn't as well, but then again, it's a personal view.
Wrapping up, retirement homes aren't too common in this part of my world. A lot of people take care of their aged parents at home, and culturally, it's like a respect as well. I wouldn't condemn the idea of retirement homes because it's a great initiative for the elderly to get the needed assistance while their family isn't disposed to do so by themselves due to some certain reasons, but personally I would love to be cared for at home with my family when I am old tomorrow instead of finding myself at the retirement homes, and the same, I would do for my parents.
This is my response to the #HiveLearners community contest on the topic titled, Retirement Homes or With Family?
Images are mine