At different stages of our lives, we would keep learning. It could be new things entirely to help us adjust better; at times, it could also be unlearning certain habits that do not do us any good at all.
From my experience about life, growth doesn't occur only when we learn something new; it could also occur when we drop certain things like habits, attitudes, lifestyle, etc., that are dragging us backward in life. For some people, it could be certain beliefs they need to let go of that could bring about their desired growth in life.
Personally, at this phase of my life, I am learning and unlearning vital things that need to be paid close attention to. For instance, controlling my emotions is one thing I am learning so desperately, because it is dealing with me in certain circumstances of my life journey. I am also unlearning over helping others at the detriment of my basic needs while setting better healthy boundaries. No wonder the popular saying that learning never ends; it's a continuous practice if we are determined to really grow in life.
Learning to control my emotions, especially during misunderstandings between me and anyone, is a vital thing I am desperately learning. I am such an emotional being; yesterday someone got me offended. I looked at myself and couldn't believe the person could use such a word on me after all I have sacrificed for the person.
Could it be that he was angry at the moment? Could it be that he forgot so soon? I kept deliberating on that scene, and the more I think about it, the more I get hurt more and more. You know it hurts more when your loved ones are the ones playing with your emotions.
Then I remembered that, that same person told me a bad word out of anger last month, and I swallowed it for my sanity. At this point, I say no; if I keep quiet, it will become a tradition. Out of anger, I finished that person too. It became a heated reaction that deprived me of peace and I made peace almost immediately . The truth is that what the person did last time was even bigger, and that was when I would have reacted and not the current one. This tells me that controlling my emotions is still a work in progress. If I could control it the last time but not now, then I am still on it, but with my intentional effort, I know I will pull through.
Again, I am really unlearning how to stop over helping others at my own detriment. My husband always complains that I think more of others far more than myself. I know it's not totally bad to think about others, but balance is highly needed. I remember him whining to me about the person I poured kindness on, and the lady forgot it in a hurry and never appreciated it through her actions, but that is life, and it's expected.
A lot of people I sacrificed to see them happy started feeling entitled. Our driver came to me the other day and told me that his foot stuff has finished too. Like, seriously? When did it become my responsibility to cater for your family's foodstuffs? I remember overstretching myself; even when I didn't have enough food stuff at home, I still gave him enough, including lunch that my children should eat while I quickly prepared another food I never budgeted for. Now, I am setting limits and unlearning this habit because what is all this?
Overall, I hope that learning and unlearning these things I mentioned above will help me to grow better. Controlling my emotions will help me make a healthier relationship, including setting boundaries. At the end of the day , learning and unlearning are both necessary parts of life.