It took a while, but we learned to stop crying each time we thought of Dad. Moving on does not mean that we have forgotten about him, but rather that we are striving to live with the pain of losing him. I doubt if the pain can go away; we still feel the loss to date, especially on July 26th of each year during his remembrance by my family. However, we will continue to uphold the legacy he left here on earth.
Not long ago, when we finished mourning the death of my brother, our last born, my dad developed a strange sickness coupled with high blood pressure. After some treatment, he became fine and continued his usual daily business. That faithful Sunday morning in July of 2007, Dad took his bath, dressed up for church, and suddenly slumped. On arriving at the hospital, the doctor confirmed him dead! I was still in secondary school then. Receiving such news left me so devastated because I just visited him three days before his death when we had our usual father-daughter moral lessons, and he sounded so vibrant and full of life in him. I cried so hard and almost wanted to fall inside his grave so they could bury both of us together. It was hard to accept the reality!
Writing about the things I learned from Dad today made me flash back to those sweet memories of him and what he taught my siblings and me while he lived. To say that Dad was a kind man full of empathy is an understatement. Sincerely, I doubt if I can do half of what he did on this earth, but I am trying so well to follow in his footsteps daily, even after his death. While he did well with his business, he secured some assets, and along the way, he started selling off some of these assets to help the needy. There was one young guy who lost his father then and was crying and saying, Who will now send me to school? Does it mean my dream of going to school is shattered? Dad raised the poor boy and sponsored him at the university.
He kept touching lives until his business had serious issues and he couldn't help in cash, but he never stopped being nice to people. One day, while he told me about his life journey, I asked him why he did all that he did for people without sparing any of his assets, but he only replied to me that I should be nice to people, whether they are my relatives or not, as my spirit leads me. It's such a great lesson I learned from him.
At an early age, I learned to be consistent with spiritual exercise from my dad. The way he drills us every morning and at night, also for prayers, and makes sure we partake in activities in my church, was commendable. Whenever I reflect on this, it gives me the energy to train my kids in the same way. Whenever I slack, memories of my dad's training flash back so quickly at me. In his word, he says, even when you have all the richness of this world in the future, do not forget your source, which is your creator. This word still deals with my consciousness to date, and it's a lesson to behold.
I learned the importance of unity from my dad. Being a man of peace, he doesn't allow issues in the family to linger before bringing everyone together for peace. You should know how it is for polygamous families, yet Dad's attribute made our family look like just a single family. The manner in which he makes an effort for everyone to be at peace with each other is quite a lesson for me as I continue to exist in this life and mingle with others. Sometimes, it doesn't matter to him who is at fault or not; he was always after bringing everyone together and making peace.
It doesn't end there; he will always let us know our distant relatives and create an event where everyone should know themselves. He has this spirit of togetherness and loves uniting everyone, both far and near. This particular attribute is what birthed our family tradition, where everyone gathers with their children at the end of the year to get to know each other more and visit our distant relatives.
I doubt if I can exhaust the many lessons I learned from Dad while he lived only on this post, but one thing I know is that upholding the great legacy he left on earth is a must. I hope I can find the strength to keep carrying on while practicing the lessons learned from Dad.
Although death is the one thing that's certain, it's hard to say a final goodbye to our loved ones.
This is my response to the #hivelearners community contest on the topic titled, In loving Memory
Thanks for reading