Hello everyone, how are you? I hope you're all well. Speaking of stereotypes, it seems almost everyone in this world experiences them. Without exception. So, what stereotypes have I experienced? Let me introduce myself. I'm from the Sundanese ethnic group, one of the ethnic groups in Indonesia. I'm a woman in her 30s.
I'll talk about being a Sundanese woman who migrated to the capital city of Jakarta. I've experienced many stereotypes related to this identity. In my extended family, especially my mother's, no one migrated far away. All my children and granddaughters live around Bandung. I'm far away in Jakarta.
I'm considered incapable of taking care of myself. Moreover, Jakarta is known for its glamorous lifestyle and other things. Several times, my extended family has harassed me to go home and take care of my mother. Secondly, Sundanese people, in the Javanese group, are known for being spoiled and unable to work hard. This is clearly wrong. Since high school, I've been trying to earn my own money by selling things.
Furthermore, some Sundanese people are also known for not being able to speak English. Because I can't distinguish the pronunciation of the letters V, F, and P. This is actually an accent; each region has its own accent. Honestly, this is completely baseless to me. English is a habit, just like writing is a habit.
Another thing is that unmarried women in their 30s are considered unsaleable. Most people consider me an old maid. This is clearly wrong. Sometimes, this stereotype comes from my extended family. They don't interfere in my life, especially after I became an orphan.
In my extended family, there are many marriages that end unhappily. Especially in my mother's family, one family still doesn't have a home. I also see that after marriage, women are the ones who lose their identity the most, sacrificing their lives for their families. For me, at my unmarried age, one thing I'm looking for is a shared vision and mission with my partner.
And of course, happiness together with my partner. Isn't marriage about complementing each other and making each other happy? So, when you're happy as a single person, don't let marriage make you miserable. That's what I emphasize. If someone reminds me to get married, I will ask, how much do you want to sponsor a wedding to tell someone to get married?
I can't emphasize it, I don't want my ideals and identity to disappear after getting married. This is a very emotional post for me. I remember several brothers who asked this question. I actually hate it. Not taking care of me, but interfering and giving me very deep stereotypes. That's all I can tell in this story. Sorry if this article is very emotional. See you in the next story.
About Author
My name is Nurdiani Latifah. I live in Jakarta – Indonesia, and after 25 years I live in Bandung. I am a media staff at an NGO in Indonesia. I have worked in this institution for almost 2 years on issues of women and peace. I have been a journalist in Bandung for 3 years.
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