The topic of marriage is a really delicate one. It's a union that should last forever and is expected to be a "one-shot" thing in most places. These days, however, the tales we hear from people in marriage can make it look like a really scary movie, and sometimes it can look like a blissful paradise. It all depends on the story and the people we hear it from.
Here and today, I will be contemplating marriage and sharing my thoughts, expectations, aspirations, and, you know, what's in my headspace.
I most definitely cannot speak from the point of view of a married person because, well, I am not married. I do not know what it's like to be married exactly, but I sure was born into one. And with my experience, I would rather remain and live life like that. I think it would be less complicated that way.
The thing, however, is that I really do want to have my own woman, build a home and family with her, and also belong to her as well. I think, really, it was no mistake when God said that "it is not good for man to be alone."
We all need one another in one way or another in this life. I think it's impossible to be 100% self-sufficient in life, especially at this point in time. And it's not from the perspective of marriage that I say this, really. Generally, we all need one another to actually "live."
From the perspective of marriage now, I would say, "Yeah, a helpmate is a great idea." I mean, there are so many areas of my life where I fall short. Although I may be able to maintain being single, the concept of having that special partnership with a person I would call my "significant other" looks like a beautiful idea with fabulous chemistry to sustain.
Yes, or no?
Would I like to be married? Well, at this point, it's probably obvious that I would like to get married. A progressive question would be, "Why would I like to get married?" What really are the underlying reasons behind my desire to get married? Let's explore that.
Companionship. That's for sure. I would like to have a best friend for life. It's also why I would like to be best friends with the potential "significant other." This is because, truth be told, we cannot always be lovers every day. And, so that marriage doesn't seem like a white-collar job, it is important to be best of friends at baseline so we can be just that on the days we will not be lovers. There would be a need to share one's burdens at some points, as that is a great step to easing off from them.
Generational continuity. Let's give it a fancy name—childbirth, I mean. I sure as hell want to have my own children. They are indeed blessings in homes, and it's one more reason and another adventure to explore together as a couple. It's a beautiful thing, and I'd like that for myself and my partner.
"You are the sugar in my tea." Oh, yeah. I want to do that, too. Love, yeah. I would like to fall in love with one particular person. It's similar to companionship, but I'd say it's on a different level. Think whatever you would like; it is inclusive.
Any expectations?
Uh, yeah. So far, so good. I have come to learn that it is not a rosy ride and also not child's play. It sure requires a lot of intentionality, getting used to, and dealing with friction and all. It's normal, I guess. I mean, no one is perfect, and so the union of two imperfect people, most definitely, cannot be perfect. But that's what makes us human after all—our imperfections.
It takes two to tango, as we all know. And therefore, it would take both parties in the marriage to actually solve any matter, even the seemingly trivial ones.
I hear there are things I wouldn't be able to "indulge myself in" when I do take these vows to spend forever with that one person. It does make sense, actually. It's an entirely different ballgame. It's a whole new world. It might take some getting used to before you can rock it.
Anything I need to know?
My experience with relationships is incomparable with the actual reality of marriage, but as human beings, I think one of the fundamental flaws of relationships is "lack of communication." Damn, that thing is a slow poison. The date and time when either person begins to "not share" things with the other person is when the walls start crumbling.
I am not here to lecture anyone, but I have to say that "talking" is sometimes underrated. There is so much good that comes from communicating effectively with one another. It does well to foster the growth and continuity of a relationship.
Understanding and patience are a few of the condiments to having a healthy relationship. They are so crucial that, if they are missing, any relationship is doomed to collapse.
Again, marriage can be a scary place, but it can also be a beautiful place. Some are lucky, and some aren't. My hope and prayer is to build a blissful home with an amazing person and also work things out with them for the good of our space as partners.
I guess that's a wrap on my contemplation on this topic for today. I may or may not have more to say, but I think it's important I think about it once in a while as the reality of it all is imminent.
...shot on Redmi Note 10 Pro