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Good day, people of Hive! Welcome to my blog. Today's topic is "Anxiety," but first, what's the meaning of anxiety? Anxiety is the feeling of worry, fear, or unease that we face as human beings, so let's dive in.
To be honest, life is not easy at all. Because every day, we all wake up with different problems weighing on our minds. We have some people who are worried about how to get money, others are stressed about school(especially during exam time), family issues, etc. And we all know that anxiety can come and go, while sometimes it stays for a long period of time, and because of that, it starts affecting our mental health, the way we eat, sleep, etc.
What's Causing My Anxiety?
Right now, one of the biggest things causing me anxiety is the fear of failure. In my school we're currently in exam period, and I'm worried that I won't meet my family's expectations, especially my sisters'. I'm always thinking, Will I pass this exam? Or will I make my sisters proud? All these thoughts keep me awake at night, and because of that, I can't sleep well. Even when I try to read for my exams, I find it difficult to concentrate because my mind is filled with fear and pressure. I'm currently in 300-level first semester, and I really want to improve my CGPA so my sisters can be proud of me.
Sometimes if I'm in the midst of my friends and we're revising for the particular exam we have that day and they are saying something funny and I try to smile or laugh, there's a heaviness inside me that doesn't go away, which is anxiety.
[Image generated from Meta Al]
How is it affecting my mental health?
It's affecting my mental health a lot because it affects my peace and my focus. Sometimes when I'm reading in the midst of my friends and I see that the book is not sinking, I always excuse myself by going to a quiet place to calm myself. Because if I don't do that and the anxiety is occupying my mind, and I don't want anyone, especially my friends, to notice, I pretend everything is fine, which I know it's not.
Before this exam started, there's this particular course that I'm anxious and scared about, and it's called SOC 305 (Social Inequality). A friend of mine in 400 level had a carryover in this same course when he was in 300 level. He told me how the lecturer taking us that course is unpredictable. He said a lot of things about the course and the lecturer, adding fuel to my burning fire, saying that despite him answering all the exam questions during their time, the lecturer still failed him, and he's not the only one having carryover on the lecturer's course.
So last week Friday, after knowing I had this exam today, I studied hard, revised all my notes, and even went through the past questions, that my friend gave me. So this morning, when I got to school for the exam, which was scheduled at 8:00 am, I saw so many 400-level students coming to rewrite the same paper. That sight increased my anxiety, and I started sweating because of the fear that maybe I will do better in the exam or not.
One of my friends saw me and asked, *“Tosin, what’s wrong with you?", I replied, “I’m scared of this lecturer’s exam because of the sight of the 400-level students who had carryover in the lecturer’s course.” And if I should count them, they're more than thirty of them. So my friend encouraged me and said, “Don't worry, God Almighty will see us through,” and He truly did. Because the exact topics and past questions I treated came out. Which I’m so grateful and thankful for. But I’m still anxious because I have more exams left, and the ones that are left are the toughest and hardest among my exams. So because of that, I'm trying my best to prepare hard because I want to pass my exam so that at the end of this semester, when our results are out, I will be happy for being among those who pass.
How do I plan to tackle the problem?
My first step is to talk it out with my friends or someone I trust so that it will reduce the anxiety in me.
Also, I have already put my exam and results in God's hands to do his miracle because I know he's the only one who can help me.
In conclusion, anxiety is real, but the best way to deal with it is to face the anxiety and speak up about it to someone. Although the anxiety may not disappear overnight, with prayer and support, I'm sure we'll overcome it.
This is my entry for the Hive Learners Featured Content Week 163 Episode 01
Thanks for reading💞💞💞💞💞.