A couple of days ago, a lady friend had invited me to a praise vigil in a church program somewhere in town, an invitation I had humbly rejected because I really don't do very well at vigils. Well, that opened the conversation to churchgoing, and I had made a promise to her that I would go to church this Sunday, a promise she had refused to believe because she felt I was one of those people who hates going to church, not knowing I grew up in it.
Right in the middle of that conversation, I had asked my neighbor if he would like to go to church with me, and he had agreed, and that was it.
Fast forward to this morning, being Sunday, I had gotten up and ready to be on my way to church when I went to knock on my neighbor's door. He, too, was ready, but he had told me that he also had invited another friend of his to also go with us. This new person was also someone that I knew but wasn't that close to, so I was cool with it.
But after waiting for another thirty minutes for this person, with no signs of him around, I had told my neighbor that I was leaving and that they would all meet me in church. I had said to make him kind of call the other guy on the phone and hurry him, but instead he had told me that he and the other guy had made plans to use public transport, specifically a motorcycle, to get to church.
Hearing that infuriated me, because here he was making plans with the other guy and not telling me about it. What if I didn't have money to pay for the transportation, or, in this case, what if I wanted to walk just for the fun of it, with my earpiece plugged into my ears, and I listened to some good music while slowly making my way to church?
I had left angrily because, aside from the fact that the church really wasn't far away, I really had wanted to take that walk, which is why I already had my earpiece with me.
Well, it was on that walk to church that I began to ask myself certain questions like, why do I always want someone accompanying me whenever I want to do something that I clearly could do myself? Why haven't I taken myself out to maybe a nice spot just to be by myself and hang out, but I've gone out with friends on multiple occasions, even on days when I had to foot the bills all by myself?
Was it lack of confidence or something else? These were the questions I asked myself as I walked down to church, and now, I want nothing more than to prove to myself that I can do almost anything myself. I no longer would require anyone to escort me anywhere.