Parents have a strong belief that children do not require privacy since on their part, they say, What are you hiding that we can not see. As a child, I understood that our parents perceive children as incomplete adults. They feel that until you begin to pay your rent, eat and purchase your own toothpaste, you remain a construction project and you are a project and so you need to be watched like NEPA light. If you are brought up in my country, you will know that you must never lock doors, there is nothing like privacy. Some parents will even pull down your room door when they find you locking it too much.
One of my friends once gisted me that when he was fourteen, he locked his door reading a comic book. When his Dad arrived home and found the door shut, he kicked the door so hard that the lock broke, just to know what he was doing inside all alone. Parents are naturally suspicious so by locking up the door they think you have some idea of blowing up the house or at least you are keeping stolen meat from the pot of soup.
However there is a problem, parents believe that children just need food, clothes and schooling but the fact is that children have rights to their privacy as well, privacy teaches children to be independent, self respect and responsible while lack of privacy makes the children grow to be professional hypocrites. When they are in the presence of parents, they act like angels but as soon as they go out of the house, they change into individuals even their guardian angels cannot recognize.
However, I don't blame the hypocrite children because, think about how a female teenager who keeps a diary and when her mother accidentally discovers it while cleaning the house, she read through it and discovered that you like your classmate Tunde, she shouted on your for it and beat you blue black for just liking a boy, do you think that child won't be thinking of how to be more private next time?.
Therefore, the fact is that parents especially Nigerian parents are investigative natures and it is funny that parenting books are not even read by them so they simply rely on their instincts and such instincts dictates to them that children are born to behave bad unless monitored.
I believed that kids need privacy but not absolute privacy in the first place. Privacy is supposed to be enabled bit by bit, just like learning how to drive. Excessive freedom at an early age will surely affect a child and monitoring all the time will make the child feel confined or in bondage but balancing between guidance and trust, supervision and independence is the correct path to take. The reason is that at the end of the day, raising children is like preparing egusi soup, when you use too much oil and it will end up spoilt, use too little and it will not be delicious.
Let me also address children who are thinking of locking their door for too long, there is some free advice I can give you is that the minute your mother shouts your name three times in a row, unlock the door yourself before she storms in with righteous indignation or with cane so open the door and respond to her call sharply. Also, be very careful of what you do behind close doors, don't try doing something you won't be proud to say to them without them feeling disappointed, be good inside and outside.
Thank you so much for staying this far, hope you had a good read with me, see you again next time 😁
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