Growing up as a child, my brothers and I lived with our parents, we will always remember the way our parents would call everyone to the table to eat a meal. Our Dad would wait until all the children were seated around the table before the food was served even in some homes. Those scenes when everyone gets to gather around, eat the same food, laugh, chat about their day is something unique. Especially when we visit my Grandma who makes the best Amala and Egusi soup and sings the most hilarious songs, those times are always beautiful and we always look forward to being with her during holidays.
In movies especially American movies, you will be able to see the way all of them sit at the dining table talking and eating together, even if they are angry at one another they still eat together. This becomes a time of settling things, checking out on each other and simply being around each other. It might seem fictional but the very same practice can be applied in our homes here in Nigeria. As a matter of fact, it was also our own tradition.
Nowadays, most families have hectic schedules. Parents go to the office early and arrive late. Whether it is at school, at lessons, or attached to the phones and laptops, children are always busy even in the case where the whole family is at home, it is quite tangible to find one member of the family eating in the sitting room as accompanied by the television set, another in the bedroom and someone perhaps not eating at all. Now everybody is all doing their thing, the lovely custom of dining together we have lost very gradually.
Family meals are not all about a meal, it is concerned with romance, intimacy and attachment. As a family is eating together, they get time to communicate, this gives the parents an opportunity to know how their children are faring at school, the children learn appreciation of the efforts of the parents, such a simple question as how your day could help one feel loved and valued to a great degree. I know some people are going to respond by saying but we are at all times busy, we get no time. Yes, life is very tense nowadays amidst traffic, work deadlines, business battles and house chores a family meal may seem unlikely. The reality is with the desire we can make time at our disposal, it could take a long way even once or twice a week like Sunday lunch is one example where everybody is going to sit down and have lunch or perhaps Friday night dinner when all are allowed to unwind after a week of work.
Some people will say “But we do not have such a big house, we don't even have dining table.” That is quite all right. Eating like a family does not imply that you should be seated at a fancy table having a three-course meal. You may sit religiously in the parlour, on the floor or out in the trash-piles under a tree. What is significant is the togetherness not the place or the food. Whether it is garri and ground nut or beans and bread, the thing is that you share it as one.
This is something that occurred in most households particularly Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa cultures in Nigeria where people ate together every day. In the village, they continue going and eating and gisting at night. Mothers used to serve the food and would yell at everybody, other times they would include even neighbors. People never lacked community. However, nowadays, contemporary life is sealing it out little by little, now everyone is too civilized or too busy.
There is no need to give up such a beautiful tradition, isn t it? No. We are in a position to resurrect it. This is because as a woman and being one who someday wishes to have my own family, I also realize how it is essential to find time to spend with the family. I would like to have my future children feel happy and safe in their home. When I want them to anticipate dinner, it is not only the food that I would like them to anticipate, but also the love and the laughter that comes along with dinner.
Personally, within my family it is quite I might say, several years since we have all sat down to dinner together. Everybody is simply in a rush. There are times when I wish it was like a long time ago in which my mum would cook and call us to join. We would just sit down and pray, eat and laugh. No one would dare to touch their phone and we were just there. I want that, I would like us to turn it into a habit not only during the times when we have guests or holidays but as a matter of course.
Families do not communicate today because it is one of the reasons as to why families have issues nowadays. The amount of time that they spend together is not adequate. Each one is struggling with his or her issues alone. However, when people eat together, that is one of the easier solutions to correct that. It is an opportunity to communicate, listen and get to know each other. It makes children feel loved, and parents remain attached to their children. It also assists in couples remaining bonded. However difficult the day is a meal that is eaten together would be a source of calm and recovery. In addition, it instills discipline and table manners in the children. They will acquire knowledge of it when they observe the way their parents eat and conduct themselves at a dining table. It is also an opportune time to impart on them the sense of gratitude which is gratitude to God of the food and gratitude of the family.
This is one of the small things we should start doing to see better homes in Nigeria. Dining out does not appear to be an uphill task, but it has a massive effect. It is able to minimize conflicts, establish oneness and also establish cheerful nostalgia. It unites the core of the family. It can be a comforting moment even in the times of difficult circumstances that a shared meal will be the same.
Finally, a family who eats together stays together, they increase in love, know more and get increased peace. Our world is so hectic, but we should not forget about the simple things which make our lives beautiful. And now we will restore all the pleasure of sitting together and sharing a meal, we will create better families-one plate at a time.