It is a common adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but in the modern world, it appears that the beholder has been blinded or rather confused because the standards in society have got quite a long list of how to look, how to talk, how to eat and even how to sleep. Yes, sleep!, whenever you snore, that makes you uncultured and when you talk in your sleep, you need therapy, most importantly when they say that you sleep too much, you are lazy. Then I begin to wonder when being human turn into a full time performance?
Let’s start with beauty, our mothers were proud of their curves in those days, the larger you are, the more you could prove that life has been kind to you. Auntie Nkechi on my street would proudly say, “Without flesh, there is nothing that your husband will have to hold". However, with Instagram and Tik Tok, the standard has changed. Everybody now desires a flat stomach and large yansh, unless your waist is round shaped like an hourglass, they will tell you that you look like a bottle of malt.
We are practically having a body contest in the entire world and those who do not enter the contest are viewed to be losing. The ironic part is that even the ideal individuals are not secure because when you are skinny they tell you that you are ill, when you are thick they claim that you are overweight. You must have glow oil, in case your skin is dark. Sometimes I wonder if God looks down and shakes His head at these people He made in His own image editing themselves like Powerpoint slides.
However, there is the question of success. It has been socialized to cause one to believe that you have failed unless you are rich by the age of 25. In the contemporary days, individuals have stopped asking, "How are you?" but they ask “What do you do?” since your value is weighted by your work position. Unless you are a tech bro or a skincare influencer, you essentially are a disappearance.
The irony is that the society wants to define you, yet it still relies on those things that it frowns upon. A mechanic is a member of low class until your car does not start, not until your kid cannot spell the word environment, a teacher is underpaid. A farmer is poor till the price of food increases. Well, perhaps, the ideals we are all following are mere nonsense.
The pressure of the social media should not be overlooked. Everyone wants the “soft life”, unless you are having an iPhone, going to Dubai, or taking coffee in an expensive cafe, you are considered old fashioned or poor. In the meantime, the average individual is unaware that some of those soft life pictures are made in their living room using borrowed wigs and fake scenery. One of my friends had a photo with the caption "Vacation Mood" and I could clearly see NEPA pole in background. On questioning her, she replied saying "Leave that thing, it is all about content" so now we don't even know who is lying and who is actually living a soft life.
The fact is that those so called standards are bad art, somebody painted them blindly, and people are acting to believe that there is a meaning. Nobody disagrees when everyone nods and claps since nobody would want to be the one to say, "Wait o, this painting does not make sense" but in our hearts we are all aware that it does not.
Unfortunately, these standards continue to change more rapidly than the exchange rate of the Naira. It is natural beauty last year, and it is BBL goals this year. So which one do we follow now?, even the motivational speakers are not an exception. One claims that waking up by 5 am is the way to become successful, and the other claims that mental health is better to be preserved by sleeping. Wake up or sleep, which one should we do?
The true issue at the end of the day is that we continue to allow the society to dictate to us who we are rather than taking our own decisions. It is like you are in a classroom having a teacher who keeps altering the question in the exam once you have already written your response. You will be confused and frustrated. That is why people are pursuing validation rather than happiness.
However, it is time to understand that bad art does not turn into good when everybody claps. A nonsense of a painting will remain a nonsense in a golden frame. Similarly, unrealistic standards will not turn into the truth overnight because they are trending. Everyone has his or her definition of beauty, success and peace. It is only necessary to discover what suits you and enjoy it.
Thank you so much for staying this far, hope you had a good read with me, see you again next time 😁.
Note: All pictures are generated on Meta AI