Breadcrumbing is a deceptive manipulation technique that ends up having a one-sided relationship. Here is how to spot it!
Have you been disappointed before? Trust me, there are few things worse than that feeling. The relationship you are in, which makes you believe or thought was booming or gaining traction suddenly evaporates or vanishes into thin air. Or the big opportunity you have thought would make you move to the next phase of your life, suddenly disappears because someone's promises changed.
If these scenarios sound familiar to you, then it is likely you've been breadcrumbed.
According to Campbell, a professor of psychology at the California State University, which can be found here
She described the term this way;
Breadcrumbing is leading someone on romantically using online or electronic forums (think: social media or texting) to keep someone's interest in you, even if you never intend to become romantically involved with them.
Breadcrumbing is more like the breadcrumber manipulating you emotionally. Even though it might look similar to Gaslighting, this is very different from it.
According to my definition of how I understood this term, Breadcrumbing is when someone lures you into having an interest with them, putting you on a high hope or ‘not so obviously’ false hope of a long-lasting relationship, and after a while, the relationship crumbles or ends, leaving you heartbroken.
Breadcrumbers never have the intention of going into a long-lasting relationship with you, but they are so flirtatious to lead you on, till they notice you have depended so much on them and then, the shock of your life happens. They make you believe and depend on them, but they never planned to be in such a life contract with you.
Some reasons these people breadcrumbs others are;
They feel better themselves and so, they try to maintain, to a little extent the interest gained from others.
They want validation from others. They just want to be around everyone, to get validated about their personalities.
In most cases, these sets of people are already in a relationship, yet they want someone to seek attention from.
Breadcrumbers are narcissists. They exercise narcissistic behaviour such as;
- They are game players
- Their approach to relationships is very shallow. The chances of getting longer in a relationship are slim.
- They do not feel guilty about manipulating other people.
- They play and toy with people's emotions.
These are a few ways to spot it and take quick steps to get out of it because this could cause a big problem in the future if you do not take action. You must realize it on time.
They do not invest in relationships as much as you do.
In my past relationships, I never knew this term until now, and I realized I have been breadcrumbed. How? I noticed that in every relationship I was in, I take it seriously and stay committed, but they do not even bother about it, or where it was heading to. Well, I got served my breakfast many times and I am doing fine today.
One thing you should notice in your relationship is how your partner makes plans with you. Do they meet up or cancel it? Are they always present with the plans they make with you, or do they find different excuses not to show up? This is a sign that you've been breadcrumbed. Well, you can't notice this only once, but breadcrumbers continuously take up this style, and you should recognize it quickly.
You are not sure of where you stand with them.
At this point, you aren't sure where the relationship is heading, and this makes you get confused every time you are with them. They aren't straightforward with you, and it leaves you in deep thoughts about what exactly you are doing in the relationship or who you are precise.
You do not understand their actions, or still, you can't even explain them.
At times when you talk to them and after the interaction, you are left confused and frustrated. You seem not to understand or get their point or what they are trying to do next.
You find yourself waiting for something from them.
Have you ever found yourself waiting for them to text or call you? Or perhaps you wait to hear them reply with “I love you too”. Remember, breadcrumbers aren't faithful.
Just because you are so dependent on them, you start expecting them to fulfil their promises or stay committed in the relationship with you. This isn't a good feeling at all, because it eventually leads to rejection or inadequacy.
You feel lonely and empty in your relationship.
You feel something is wrong somewhere but you just can't pinpoint the exact issue and instead of taking a break, you hold on to them thinking they will change. Once you notice that you are doubting the relationship and commitment of the other person, just know that you are being breadcrumbed.
The only solution to this is to work on, and love yourself more. You deserve the best and there is a need to know your value and worth.
You will finally come to meet someone who will love you, as much as you love him or her and wouldn't be a one-sided relationship. Learn to know who you are and focus on your growth.
Thanks for your time.
