Listening is one of the kinds of communication and a vital part of it. Learning the art of listening can be a valuable skill to possess. Some of the people who understand the value of listening are counsellors/therapists and doctors. These ones wouldn't want to miss out on important information about their patients so as not to fail in administering medications to them.
I studied Guidance and Counselling in school, and we were taught the importance of listening to our clients effectively and not to interrupt when they are expressing their feelings until they are done.
The reason is to be able to understand their feelings and know how to resolve their problems in an amicable manner. An impatient person can never learn the art of listening because such a person won't sacrifice time to listen, and they would want to keep interrupting in every discussion, and at the end of the day, no smooth communication has ensued.
In the Scripture, the art of listening is emphasised much. One has to be quick to listen and slow to speak: this means they need to listen effectively and with an undivided attention for the easy flow of communication.
One person I have respected for a long time is my elder sister. She has learnt the art of listening and will not interrupt until you are done. I even liked the way she would summarise all your points clearly back to you to let you know she was following all along and never missed a point. Then, she would start to address each issue individually until she was done.
It always surprises me that she never forgets even discussions we had weeks after, and she would even be the one reminding me of things I have forgotten that I'd talked about. I respect her for that, also, for others who have the same listening skills.
I was never the listening type before. I used to think that listening involves being present, and whether I give my undivided attention, I don’t care. I later understood that listening takes a lot of sacrifice and time. I even forget most of the time about things discussed with me.
I was always impatient and would want everything to be rushed, and many times would cut discussions off. I observed people feel sad about this. I observed how most people I talk to listen with rapt attention when I speak and I realised I haven't been doing better. I took my time to learn the art of listening and I could say I am trying in that aspect.
Some reasons why people do not listen effectively are (1) a lack of patience. (2) quick to speak without waiting to hear everything, and most times, it leads to meaningless contributions because they didn't wait to think through their input, or not waiting for the other person to finish their talk. (3) distractions, etc.
Not everyone has mastered the art of listening, and this often causes misunderstanding among people when they are talking. The one talking wants to express their feelings or opinions, and when they are not paid attention to, they feel sad.
People feel valued when they feel heard. Listening strengthens relationships and builds trust. It helps you to understand before responding and this often leads to clearer conversations and fewer conflicts. Those who listen effectively can understand people's emotions and their needs. They practice empathy, patience and self-control.
What usually causes issues in communication is that people want to listen to reply and not to understand and this creates tension and closes the door to resolution.
When people are ignored or dismissed because they fail to listen to them, it brings about resentment, especially when they try to conclude matters without listening clearly and then coming to wrong assumptions due to a lack of gathering information effectively.
Learning the art of listening can be a great skill to have as it can help one understand another person better, being empathetic and wanting to help them resolve their problems by proffering advice to them. But when one fails to listen, it can make them miss out on good advice, guidance or important information that could have made them grow.
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