Years back, phones were not as addictive as they are now. This is largely because almost everything we do today happens online and with ease. We communicate through messages, social media platforms, calls, run businesses, make sales, stay informed about the latest happenings, and we try not to miss out on anything.
Back then, phones didn't compete for attention during family meetings or moments that required our undivided focus. Today, however, it sometimes feels like a struggle when we are distracted at moments that need our connection and maximum cooperation.
I will not pretend to be exempt from this reality. Many times, I find myself scrolling or checking my phone even when trivial issues are being discussed, and I make excuses for why I need to be away from my phone. Knowing that it is not good does not always stop the habit. Still, awareness matters.
There have been moments when I wanted my younger siblings to pay attention while I spoke to them; I then realised how painful it's when I do that to others. I remember scolding my brother on several occasions, asking him to keep his phone away till we were done. I actually love good moments, and phones are always a distraction when we ought to be more connected and understand ourselves better.
These kinds of moments made me realise how easily phones can stand between us, even within the same house.
Meanwhile, I have seen families who intentionally ban phones during meals. They understand how important it is to eat together, to share moments without distractions, to observe good manners, and to return to their phones only afterwards.
The same applies during family discussions: phones are kept aside, even where they can't be reached until the conversation is over. These ones understand that true connections and boundaries should be respected.
These practices may seem small, but they allow for eye contact, laughter, understanding and genuine connection, so that, in the end, everyone feels alive and happier. Anyone who has ever spoken to someone whose eyes are glued to a screen all day knows how painful it can feel. It gives the impression that what you are saying doesn't matter, even when that may not be the intention.
That said, I don't think phones should be forcefully or harshly banned. I believe there's always a way to do things right rather than being compelled to act even when it's inconvenient.
A polite request, mutual understanding and clear communication can go a long way. It means you respect the other person. Trust me, when people understand why phones need to be put aside during shared moments, they are more likely and willing to cooperate.
So, should phones be banned for certain periods? In my opinion, yes, but there should be a balance, and not coercion. A temporary phone-free moment during dinner, family movie night or trivial conversation is not an infringement of rights. Rather, they are choices made intentionally to prioritise relationships over phone (screen).
For every right comes a responsibility, and one of those responsibilities is knowing when to disconnect from phones to truly connect in the real world.
You will agree with me that distractions are constant and attention is fragmented, but families must be deliberate about setting boundaries.
When communications are made in advance as to when phones should be banned, not for a longer period, and one is being led by example and demanding open conversations, there would be a big difference. Phones are useful tools, but they should not take over the place of presence, listening and bonding.
Sometimes, all we truly need are uninterrupted minutes to be heard, seen, and valued. This creates a sense of appreciation for everyone. For this to happen, putting phones down is a good place to start.
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