In real life and online there are people who has set some standards for everyone and we call them society. They are the ones who will judge you for your look, behaviour, work, and even they would want to control how you live. These expectations often come from culture or religion that people follows around us. Well, not all of these standards are bad, there are also some helpful things that would guide a person to become better or responsible. But if those standards starts to control our personal life and make us feel that we are never enough then it becomes unrealistic.
Basically, the question should be asked that when does a standard cross that line? Well, different people will have different answers but I believe it completely depends on how much the society is pressuring on that person and whether it’s even possible to reach. For example, the most toxic thing that I have seen since my birth is that the society is promoting the idea of “perfect beauty.” like we are supposed to have flawless glass skin, zero figure, or wear revealing clothes to be considered as attractive. Those who wears eye glasses they are seen as nerds and unattractive and if they have spot on face they are ugly. These ideas are everywhere on TV specially in web series or movies, and on social media as well.
The image they are trying to create is mostly edited and filtered because it's really rare to have this type of figure and skin naturally but everyone is supposed to look different not the same. So they are portraying a version of reality that doesn’t even exist. People easily fall for it and starts to compare themselves to others, this creates a self-doubt about themselves not only that, they also gain anxiety, and even depression. In the end they think of doing plastic surgery because their crooked nose is bothering someone else.
Not only beauty standards but also with success same thing happens. So, success means you have to show off that you have money, like it means you own a lot of money, must be in a reputed company with high-paying job, or you gotta lead a luxurious lifestyle. But the definition of success depends on us, because everyone has different goals and journey. Like some of my friends found success through happiness and peace, the others found their success in creativity—not just wealth or fame. Why do we constantly hear that we must “gain more” or “be better than him/her” to matter, it is truly a cycle of dissatisfaction. End of the day people will begin to chase something they might be unable to reach, and forget that contentment is also a kind of success.
Another unrealistic standard is seen in Bangladesh and it's a big issue. The insane amount of standards in education is unbeatable. Every students are expected to get top grades and they must study in a prestigious school/college/university, and secure a job at government company. There are many student who does not want to study science but they are forced to study science because of their parents prestige. The parents feel that science is the only respectable subject. They do not consider Commerce as important as Science and Arts is at the lowest level of this chart. There are many students who ends their lives because of these high expectations. They are forced to study science because of the society who doesn't value the students of commerce and arts. The mental health of students are getting worse day by day.
There are social standards such as setting a milestone which must be achieved by a certain age. Society wants us to get married by a certain time and also have children and to them it means life is successful for adults. What if someone does not want to get married does that mean they have lost in this life? Actually No, it totally depends on that person if they are happy then why it's bothering others? Some people after marriage don't want kids and it's normal, if their partner has no problem then what is it to us? I think gradually we are forgetting that individuality is what makes us human. If we have free will to do our own thing then that is what makes us feel successful in life.
I feel all of these standards are subjective in many ways. A standard becomes unrealistic when it ignores diversity. If someone does not feel worthy and does not feel that they fit in then it becomes harmful. So, the society must learn to accept the differences. Because there's no perfect way to live, look, or succeed. I prefer to create my own definitions of happiness and worth. I do not have the desire to follow the path of others or even my parents. So, we should stop forcing everyone to meet the same standards. We should be able live our life peacefully without bearing the weight of unrealistic expectations.
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