In our life during our journey we meet many people, most of them are known as our friends. In the past when I was in school I used to think of my classmates as my friends even though we never talked about being friends. It just happened naturally without asking as we study together. Most of the time I have felt left out of the group so it made me question myself am I not their friend? Is it one sided? So, as time passed I realized everyone I meet or spend time with is not my friend. A friend is someone when they are close they know many things about me and both of us are conscious about being friends. I just can't assume everyone as my friend because they talked with me nicely for a moment.
Since childhood I always had a dream of making a group of friends, where we all would stay together, play together and hangout together. But all of my friends started to part away when I changed my school. I could no longer be in touch with my old friends but still I would crave for them. I recall a memory where I had met my old friend at the college but he totally ignored me. I was heart broken as I thought we were still friends.
In college life I was all alone, I didn't have many friends because I didn't know how to make friends anymore. I had given up and no one even gave efforts. I was really depressed for 2 years of my life, I felt so bad that I didn't talk with anyone about my feelings. When I had made few friends they have forced me to smoke, I couldn't deny as I was afraid they will leave me too. Against my will I have done so many things that I still regret.
As a single mom my mother noticed this change in me, she told me that I don't need friends to be happy, I don't need to be feel included somewhere, the only way to happiness is myself, I am the only one who can truly keep myself happy, I should not let myself depend on others to be happy, I should be the one in control of my happiness.
This advice of my mother had changed my life, the moment I started being by myself I started to attract many friends. At first I was a depressed dull person but as soon as I started seeing the small things it has drastically changed my life. I realized every activities out there I can do it alone, I don't need a companion. Just because I saw others in group doing it I realized they are the one in void, they need people to fill their void. But I don't need anyone to fill that void. Of course friends are important but that doesn't mean I will die without having any friends comforting me.
I feel it’s better to have no friends at all than to have the wrong ones around. I didn't crave for any friends anymore. I have got a small circle and still now at the age of 51, we are still together. I have found true friends after a long journey and we all have our own family now but still when there's a get together we would enjoy each other's company and not taunt each other. I feel this is how friendship should be in a person's life. Even if there's no friend at all that's not a problem. You don't need people to be around you to be happy.
True friends are hard to find, but once you find them make sure to hold their place with love and care. Because if you take them for granted they would not last long. I am still open for friendship, I have grown enough it doesn't mean I can't have new friends. On Hive I have made many new friends so friendship is a blessing if they are good enough.
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