I really couldn’t pass off at the opportunity to share my own culture’s traditional marriage ceremony with you guys, I have patiently waited to see an urhobo culture post, but non so far, so let me take one for the team.
You know during marriage ceremony it is said that ones eyes are always up, if you ask me to give a detailed explanation of what happened during my wedding, both traditional and church wedding, I would not be able to, I only remember the money I was sprayed (Lol) and me dancing and dancing.
I am from the southern part of Nigeria, Delta state, I am urhobo by tribe but now Isoko by marriage.
urhobo wadooo
Before traditional rights are performed, the family of the groom is expected to make a first visit to the girls family to introduce themselves, they do so bearing gifts of drinks and wine and alcohol and kolanuts. There they get acquainted with each other and the father of the bride is presented with a drink, to acknowledge him as the head of the house,
After which a plate of Kola is also presented
It is said that kola does not walk alone so money is used to wedge it so that it doesn’t fall off, according to tradition, what this simply means is that Money is used to support the presentation of the Kolanut,
This money is gotten from everyone that came along with the family of the groom, one by one they support the kolanut with various amounts and denominations of money.
The spokes mans for the grooms family
Which is refer to as otota in urhobo
Presents everything the family of the groom wishes to present and he acts as the middle man between both family, neither the groom Nor anyone in the family is expected to address the group sitted for the introduction.
The brides family equally has their own otota who speaks on behalf of the girls father,passing any message he wishes to tell the grooms family across.
At the end of this, the girls mother is asked to go and get her, on appearance before the group, the girl is asked if she recognizes anyone in the grooms family and is told that they have brought drinks to her father to seek her hand in marriage, she is asked to identify the person she knows and also state whether or not her father should Accept all the drinks and kolanut they have presented
If this is done successfully, the introduction is a success and the family felicitates with each other.
During the course of the preparation for the traditional marriage proper, the bride price list is passed across to the grooms family as soon as the date for the traditional marriage rites is set. The grooms family is allowed to contact the brides father and family if they have any issues with the items stated on the list.
For my own bride price list there was the following items (I cannot find the paper anymore jare but I remember a few of them)
-walking stick and cap for the brides father
-mother’s sleepless night fee
-siblings fee
-hot drinks and palm wine for the elders
-bag of salt , kegs of palm oil for the village women
-hot drinks and cash fee for the youths of the family
-bride price money
-10 wrappers , a box , bag , shoe, headgear and umbrella for the bride
-excursion fee to grooms family house
That’s about how much I remember sha, it was a back and front A4 paper sheet list
The groom is allowed to make back payments before the date in other to save time on that day.
The otota for the groom and brides family go back and forth reading the list and making sure every thing on the list is accounted for and paid by the grooms family, if the groom already made back payment, better for him,As that number on the list will be passed by quickly and moved to the next number.
in my case my husband made a lot of back payments so as soon as
They get to the number he had already paid for my father confirms with a “yes he has fulfilled it”* and the otota quickly moves to the next item on the list*
If all goes well, the bride is called out but first the female youths of the house demands for a cab fare to go and get the bride, the groom eventually satisfies their needs and the bride is brought out with a lot of serenade, the women in the house,old and young sings for her as she is presented to the grooms family.
She is then asked by the otota of her family if she agrees to marry the man which she recognizes in the grooms family, this Question is asked three times before she says a yes or no (anyone she likes, me I said yes)
Her answer is met with a lot of singing of traditional songs and the grooms family begins to shower her with spray of cash.
After which both bride and groom kneels before the brides father for blessing. The father of the bride Blesses a glass of wine and gives it to the groom who drinks and then gives his bride to drink and then he is suppose to finish it and shower the bride with spraying of money.
The rest is dance, dance , dance, eating and party.
I hope you enjoyed my cultures traditional marriage rites
Please note that I gave a rough analysis here, a lot more details goes into these things but I won’t know because I was inside the house busy waiting to be called out
Lol
Thank You for reading this post
