Divorce happens when a man and woman who are married to each other decide to end or annul their marriage for reasons best known to them. This act was foreign where I came from, not until recently when it became a popular thing due to a lot of factors. I have always been on the side of the kids. I believe the kid was not given a choice to choose his or her parent, but a man and woman made a conscious decision in the first place to get married. It wouldn’t be the fault of the kid if they fall out of love or the marriage doesn’t work out, and it should not be the case where the children should suffer in the case of a divorce. I believe that divorce shouldn’t be the case and should be a last option in the case of a disagreement in marriages, putting the feelings of the child or children first before the parents or the feelings of the couple.
While growing up, I discovered that divorce was not so popular in Nigeria. It was more a case where women majorly stayed in marriages for the sake of their children. The couples fell out of love or might have serious disagreements but always looked for other means to settle their dispute and tried to stay together for the sake of their children.
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A lot of men knew so well that they can’t raise their kids without their wives, and a lot of women were not independent and needed the assistance of their partner to raise their children. A lot of traditional men would tell you that they got married only for the purpose of breeding, and after that, nothing else. But the women were mostly patient with these men and would stay in marriages for the sake of their kids. The trauma children usually face during a divorce is not something I would love to experience or wish for anyone.
To me, it is the right way to handle such since these children had no say in the decision you took in choosing a partner and should not be held responsible for your choice or suffer from the outcome of your choice of choosing a partner. As much as it is also important that the adults be happy and free to dissolve their marriages, it is also important to know that this shouldn’t be done to the detriment of the kids, and anything outside that will be classified as selfish.
In my own opinion, I believe a woman or man is only allowed to leave an abusive marriage that is threatening to their lives but shouldn’t leave a marriage because of flimsy excuses like falling out of love or even serious issues of infidelity. Couples should live with their decisions and not let it affect kids. They should think more about the feelings of the kids and try to make their marriage work in any way that they can.
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