It's quite easy to become the father or mother of a child/children but being a parent that actually does parenting is a different game altogether.
Frankly, it's not easy to be a parent and everyone out there is raising their children the way they deem fit seeing there's different strokes for different folks.
There's joy in parenting. The joy of impacting the life of your child or the lives of your children and seeing them grow up in the way you have raised them is something to be happy about and proud of.
GROWING UP
I grew up under strict parents and my Mom is the one who has the larger influence on her children.
My mother didn't always trust neighbors and friends and she really doesn't put her trust in people that much, especially outsiders and strangers.
She's a preacher of honesty and she's been betrayed too many times in the past which made her lock up to prevent further stabs in the back and this was channeled to her children.
Having little kids to look after while working wasn't easy and many times she needed to be free of the kids in order to do what she wanted to do but she didn't trust neighbors to properly look after her children while she was away and she had good reason not to trust them too.
The issue of a househelp was brought up and she agreed to employ a credible house help to assist with us as little kids but the househelp's credibility was just a front and so that got ruled out.
My aunties were willing to help look after us but they lived far away and it was difficult journeying to and fro but it had to be done.
LISTENING TO CHILDREN
Children do have things to say and it's sad that most of the time parents shun children from talking about a particular thing because it doesn't resonate with their own perspective.
I was shunned a lot of times and those times I managed to end up being right.
There were times a decision had to be made and I'd proffer a suggestion which would no doubt get ignored as usual and at the end we'd all see that I was right.
I never liked it and still don't.
BEING IN TUNE WITH YOUR CHILD
This also means being your child's best friend.
Parenting isn't just providing food, clothing and shelter alone among other things, it's more than that.
It means being there for your child or children by knowing what actually goes on in their daily lives especially when you're not with them to guide them.
Letting them know they can come to you with a problem and you would listen to them without judgement and reprimands.
I really wish I had that as a child.
And so…
I PLAN TO DO THESE FOR MY CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE
I'll make sure that my kids are with someone I trust whenever I need them to be baby-sat.
I don't think I'd want to go through the process of putting my children at risk in the hands of strangers and outsiders before realizing that there are other people I can actually trust.
I wouldn't go through all that.
I trust my siblings and they'll surely be the first option when it comes to babysitting for me.
Whichever sibling is available to babysit will no doubt help me watch my children and I can go about my duties and concerns with a free mind without having to worry if something bad will happen to my children while I am away.
STRONG COMMUNICATION
This is something I'll definitely establish with my children.
There wouldn't be shunning especially when the child has something important to say.
I believe in letting children say what's on their mind so that it'll be easier for both parent and child to communicate properly and build a better and stronger relationship.
In every relationship communication is key and that's really needed in huge quantities when it comes to parenting.
BEING MY CHILDREN'S BEST FRIEND
I do find pleasure in being the best friend of my children or child.
It'll make me so happy to be there for them and to be the first person they think of whenever they have something to talk about.
They wouldn't have to feel lonely because they know that I'll always have a listening ear and an open mind for them whenever they need it.
Plus they wouldn't have to rely on what others say on an issue when they can get the truth from me especially on delicate matters.
I really hope I get to be the best parent for my kids in future.
Thank you for reading.