I had a chat with one of my high school friends who needed another person’s contact, and she was shocked at my response. In her words, “Hi, babes. I know it’s been a while, but I need Segun Adegboyega’s number. I know you’ll have it”. My response? “I have just three of my high school mates’
number, and you are one of those three”. She was shocked.
Back in high school, I was the friend to everyone because they wanted to be close to me. It was all love, but I saw beyond what they showed. I knew they were close to me because of their momentary needs, and I let them have a fill just because I am a generous giver.
They wanted to get their mathematics assignments resolved, and I was the best person to do it. They wanted to be on the good side of teachers, I was the best person to go plead with the teachers. They needed someone to take blame for their noisemaking and all and trust me to fill that space because I knew the teachers wouldn’t punish me. “They were all my friends”.
Oh, let’s talk about the hostel students whom we lived together. They hated me because of my connections with teachers, hostel executives, and new students alike, but they put on show like they didn’t. And there was one of them that I knew could kill me if she had the chance to just because she wanted all the “attention” I was getting. Funny is, all these things came naturally because I used to hide from the world (I still do). But you know what? Let’s pretend it didn’t happen.
This is what physical friendships have done to me at a very young age; building fake connections just for the sake of what you're getting and I knew I was better alone, however, I tried again. Guess what? I got the same treatment even in the higher institution. I had a lot of friends whom I knew were close to me because of what they needed, but I was willing to let them take what they needed as long as my life was safe.
Now, we all are out of both the high school, and the university, and I counted my friends. I laughed. Because now, everyone has gotten what they needed and had left. Am I sad? Nope. Because it is part of life.
Online, I have met people who have become close friends over time. I find that easy because I pride myself as the “keypad warrior”. You don’t know me, I don’t know you either, so beyond what we can get from each other, there has to be a real connection for the conversation to even click.
Funny is, sometimes, I prefer the online friend who I know is my friend not because of the benefits, because what benefit can you even see as I’m not even active on any social media platforms except Hive, so, getting close to me won’t immediately show you what or who I am. Rather, it takes a lot of patience, and overtime conversations to understand my thought process, and finally get to know what I am capable of.
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