I was losing my mind, but I didn’t realize it until it was almost too late. And it was nobody’s fault that all they saw was a beautiful face and a slim body that looked healthy.
This year makes it five years I almost lost my mind, but nobody realized. Honestly, I didn’t realize it either because I was so engrossed in making sure that I didn’t stay up there in my head too long for the fear of what it could contain. Rather, I made sure to start this excellent routine to straighten the arched back I gained from crouching since secondary school.
If anyone had asked why I was losing my mind, I honestly wouldn’t have an answer because I didn’t know anything was wrong with me. But for a friend who suddenly realized that I was excessively quiet around him which was very unusual even though I wasn’t the person that talks much around people. He was one of those that make me talk a lot.
When he asked the question, “Monsuroh, what’s up with you?”, and I responded with “I’m good”, as usual, from the response, he realized something was truly wrong. So, he further asked some in-depth questions that made me know that I was close to depression. Oh, at the time, I didn’t know there was such thing as mental health. To me, as long as I was not sick, then I was healthy.
See, it feels great knowing that there are so many PRs about being mentally healthy as well as been physically healthy. None of this is meant to go into hibernation in a normally existing human because they work hand in hand.
Excessive laughing to cover up the dreadful thoughts in your head, sighing too much, feeling insufficient and inefficient among others are always perfectly covered up behind a well-sculptured gym body looking healthy but with a helpless mind screaming for help to no one in particular. I’ve been there, I know what it feels like, and it’s honestly not a place anyone wants to be. So, to protect yourself from having a perfect physical health, but a struggling mental health, here are the things I did that worked for me.
First, I had to consult the part of me I was avoiding. I was working out, striking the poses, but the major purpose of the type of exercise I was doing, yoga was to connect to my mind, see what’s there, calm the uprising storm with a very good breathing exercise. I started doing that, and gradually, the number of sighs I had per day reduced.
The next thing I did was to hang out with that friend who discovered the trouble within me first. I hung out with him for a very long time because I needed him to keep asking me deep questions until there was none to ask myself. I wouldn’t hurt myself in the presence of people, but I could do it alone. So, rather, I would answer the hard questions in the midst of people, and go back home smiling. In essence, a strong community that loves you so much will elevate your spirit and hype you up.
Lastly, connecting with nature completed the healing process. In fact, staring at the sky, breathing the healthy air from the beautiful garden in my school, and sometimes speaking to the tree helped me really well.
Maintaining a healthy physical health is good, but nothing beats striking a balance between been physically and mentally healthy.
Images are mine.