Anger serves little purpose
Some people seem to get angry all the time.
Food is late.. get angry
Get cut off in traffic.. get angry
Stuck in traffic.. get angry
Elevator is slow.. get angry
Price of gas goes up.. get angry
Miss out on last free bus tour around Seoul.. get angry
It is really quite sad. Anger is one of those emotions which really doesn't make anyone happy. I'm going to make an assumption that anger steals happiness. Which leads me to wonder: If someone wants to be happy why do they let anger control them?
Justice?
I wonder if it is because people want everything to be fair. People like fairness and justice. When things are unfair they get angry because the rules of the game aren't even. Some people with with no effort and others can't get a break when they try so hard. One person goes to jail for a crime and another walks away without a care.
When people see things that aren't fair anger tends to come naturally.
Entitlement?
Other people just think they are better than others and should get special treatment. They believe they deserve better or should be given more. I have no idea why but I guess some people have that sense of self worth.
The squeaky wheel?
Other people follow the rule "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" and think if they get angry and act out they get what they want. It actually words very well for toddlers and its a bad habit some adults haven't outgrown.
The reason doesn't matter. Anger doesn't make the world a better place. In fact I'd say it makes the general atmosphere of anywhere it is much less desirable.
Toxic Environments
If I were to ask: "Is it nice to be in the middle of heated family argument?" I'm positive no-one wants to be in a place like that. No-one wants to be on a bus where people are fighting. No-one wants to be in a hotel lobby or restaurant where people are fighting. I'm also pretty sure no-one enjoys being in a country where people are fighting either. Although I could be wrong.
Anger leads to fighting and as a general rule anger makes things unpleasant for anyone involved. So the question comes up: Why do people bother with it?
That's a tough question and I would hazard a guess the answer is : People anger is a natural response.
Anger can be useful to help someone fight. If someone wants to attack me and I need to fight back? Anger is my friend! Get the adrenaline going and the pain response goes down and the aggression goes up. Better chance I'll win if I'm angry. Except when I won't.
Anger increases the desire to fight but many times de-escalation is the preferred way to go. When countries go to war no-one truly wins. When husbands and wives fight no-one truly wins. When you fight with a store staff or hotel staff does anyone really win? Sure you may get what you want but you aren't making any friends in the hotel or the store!
I'm not saying anger is always wrong as it does motivate people to change things. Anger can get people united against injustice or other wrongs. Channeling anger into something productive thought is challenging.
My personal experience with anger
In my household my kids know that I rarely get angry. They know that my wife easily gets angry. In fact one day I was chatting with them and they told me "Mom always gets angry so we ignore her and know that she will calm down soon enough. Dad. You never get angry, but for those few times that you do. We know we really screwed up and to watch out because you absolutely will act".
That is just my way.
I like being happy. I enjoy being calm and peaceful. I guard my happiness and joy and try not to let anything steal if from me. Anger is absolutely a thief that wants to steal my joy. If I see it entering my life I will do my very best to erase it from my thoughts.
Anger the thief of joy: Dall-e image
Getting angry at my children won't help my relationship with them.
Getting angry at my wife won't help my relationship with her.
Getting angry with my patients and customers doesn't help build the business.
I want to build better relationships with my family and those around me. Better relationships make life better all around so I try very hard to take the better path.
But sometimes I need to let the anger flow. Some things just can't be let slip. Some things can harm my children or family. Some things if left unchecked will ruin those things I care about. For those things I'll let the anger go and fight against it.
However, I control the anger
Anger can absolutely be a fuel to get things going. However, many people let the anger control them. There is a reason that the term "losing it" is associated with anger. Anger takes control of the person. However, out of control is exactly that, when the anger takes over. Personally if I need to use anger I want it to be on my terms. I want it to push me to action but I don't want it to override my desire to keep things civil. Even when I was angry with my children I always stopped and thought before I let anger move me forward. If I was too angry to speak calmly? I came back later.
I guess it is like fire. Uncontrolled fire destroys things. Controlled fire tends to get things done.
I don't like feeling angry. I don't like an emotion which can easily break things apart. However,if I must use it I want to control it so that it makes things better not worse.
That's my take on the Hive Learners prompt about how I treat anger. It works for me but I'd love to hear other people's opinions on the topic. Thanks for reading.